Princess || KNJ✅

Part Fourteen

My dad always said, if things get too heated on the inside, go outside and cool down through a walk. He never took this advice himself obviously. I take after his opposites.

I’m convinced he raised me the way he did so I’d end up being the person instead of doing something that they will regret, they just go for a walk. Or just do something therapeutic. Even though he didn’t believe in therapy. But that is more of my grandmother’s fault. 

Like, he cursed like a sailor. But he used to get so mad at me when I cursed, so I’m mentally trained to filter my mouth before I spoke. 

Even though he was joking, he said that alcohol gives you AIDS, so in highschool I didn’t take so much as a sniff. Even when he dragged me to 9:15 mass at saint michaels. 

When I was little, I used to get really really really sick when I ate too much. So sick that I puked all over the toilet for twenty minutes. I had to stay in from school for days at a time. In response, my dad didn’t let me eat more than what he provided me on my plate. Now when I do eat, its small portions that would make any normal person think that I’m starving myself. 

As for him, he ate like a king on christmas every evening. 

I’ve been doing gymnastics and cheerleading since I was a child. Since gymnastic stunts your growth, I ended up being short while he was much taller. 

When I had my first period, the first thing he told me was that I could get pregnant now, but refused to tell me the process. He taught me every little detail of how to put on, change, remove, and wrap up my pad.

He didn’t allow tampons because he was scared of me getting toxic shock syndrome. Actually, he didn’t even let me find out what the hell toxic shock syndrome was until I started tenth grade. But he was tipsy at a barbeque and probably didn’t remember telling me. 

And when the issues with my mom came up...he taught me to keep my head up while he soaked in his feelings. 

I feel like he would be proud of me right now. Seeing me walk out of the apartment for a constructive and therapeutic walk so that I didn’t rage violence. Then I found myself walking down four blocks into CaryTown. 

My dad and I used to live outside of Seoul. Like forty minutes away from here in CaryTown. This place was never spoke of until I was in highschool, so he took me down here because it was a good place to get cheap clothes. Obviously, we weren’t the richest people in the world. We also had a deal. If I kept my grades up, he would renew my library card and drive me down to the one behind Sweet Frog. 

I could go for some sweet frog right about now. 

If my dad had money left over, he’d give it to me to buy books. He bought me a bookshelf when I was eleven...and she still stands tall in my room in the apartment. It’s small and doesn’t even fit all the books I have. So I made it only for series, then everything else go inside of baskets. 

I refuse to change that bookcase since it’s the last real thing I have left from my dad that relates to the both of us. 

Namjoon: Nari?

Me: *wiping my face* h-Hey.

I honestly didn’t realize that I walked so far that I ended up on Namjoon’s bookstore. By the looks of it, he was either hanging up or taking down a sign. Guys, when is it too early to let someone see you cry? 

Namjoon: Are you okay? 

Me: Yeah, I’m ok. 

Namjoon: Nari, it’s freezing why are you walking around like that?