BE YOUR EVERYTHING

BYE8: Bee Stunged Heart and Cough Drops

How do you reject someone without hurting them? Is it even possible to do so?

Naguguluhan akong tumingin sa kaharap ko.

"I-I like you, Bev." Pag-uulit nito sa kaniyang sinabi kanina. Kumabog ng malakas ang aking dibdib, not because I feel the same but for some other reason I felt nervous.

It was clear that I'm not interested. Ayokong makasakit but there's no other way. There's no subtle way of saying that I can't give him the chance he wants. No matter how much I think of ways and scenarios where I won't hurt him, the end will always be the same- with him being in pain.

"Why?" Ang tanging lumabas sa aking bibig. Shit, Bev. Stop asking just say it!

"I don't know I just like you. Can I court you?"

Napapikit ako.

"Look, Andrei. I'm sorry but I don't feel the same. I'm really sorry. You're a very nice guy and I'm sure makakahanap ka pa ng iba diyan, If you court me you'll just waste your time." Tinignan ako nito na para bang maluluha. Now I feel guilty!

What I did was right, right? Atleast I was honest. It's better than lying because lying just means prolonging the agony.

"Oh Ok..." Yumuko ito. I hate to leave him like this pero... "Kailangan ko nang umalis, Andrei. I hope we can still be friends after this." Malamig ang kamay ko ng hawakan ko ang kaniyang balikat bago umalis at magpatuloy papunta sa Court.

Matatapos na yata ang training nila Newt, Binasa ko ang huling text nito after ko lumabas sa indoor court dahil tinawag ako ni Andrei.

From: Newt Panget

Where are you? Be back asap.
Patapos na training ko

Napairap ako, akala naman niya kung ano ang gagawin ko kasama si Andrei. Mapamintang! I was watching their practice kanina when Andrei approached me. Nagalangan pa si Newt na sumama ako rito but in the end he still let me go.

"Yari kay Master Beverly!" Pagtapik sakin sa balikat ni Jussel. Nangasar ang mga players na papalabas na sa court.

"Sinasabi mo diyan?" Tumawa lang ito ng malakas saka nagpaalam. "Wala master, una na kami!"

"Ingat kayo" sabi ko at tumuloy na sa pagpasok sa gym. Malayo pa lamang ay natatanaw ko na si Newt na nakatalikod banda sa akin habang may kausap siyang babae.

Maganda ito at medyo maliit ng kaunti saakin. Matangos ang ilong at medyo malaki ang mga mata. Lumapit ako sakanila nang tahimik.

"I was just wondering if we could eat some dinner tonight? I really want to say thank you sa pagtulong mo sakin."

"Okay lang, Linette." Newt brushed his nape shyly. I think he finds the girl adorable. Sabagay ako din naman.

Linette, though.... Naalala ko ang pangalan nito. Siya yung babaeng kinwento sa akin ni Raph na kasama ni Newt noong camping nila. Sumama ang timpla ng mood ko bigla. The hell?

"Ihahatid ko din kasi si Beverly ngayon" Gee, ginawa pa akong excuse. Napirap ako. I stepped on the scene at kumaway sa babae kahit iba ang pakiramdam ko.

"Hi!" She smiled at me, awkwardly. Medyo nahiya tuloy ako sa bigla kong pagsingit.

"Uy, Newt. Sabay na lang ako kay Vicki. Sige, bye!" Kaway ko dito saka nagmamadali na lumabas sa gym. He shouldn't stop on my account, it's a potential lovelife for him kaya! Ayokong mahadlangan, besides this isn't the first time they talked kaya pagbigyan na.

Kahit medyo sumama na ang timpla ng mood ko at naiirita sa sarili sa hindi malamang dahilan, sa huli ay nagpasundo na lamang ako kay Vicki.