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16. Anti-Fireafy - Back of the Room

this is something very different to what I usually write.
this isn't a cool happy love story or a tragic one, this is an anti ship story, which means I'll be slagging it off lol
I know Fireafy is a bit of a marmite ship so some of you may disagree with this, others may love it.

possible trigger warning for themes of childhood bullying

So this was how she'd remember it. Sitting in her bed in a volunteer's flat, squeaking springs underneath her as she sat there. She'd caught a cold earlier that week, one that made her voice catch every time she spoke. She hadn't left the room in hours. She couldn't.
This was how it all played out. Talking to a friend, the familiar trickle of memories had begun to eat away at the corners of her mind she typed; read the stories the other girl had to tell. Needle was everything she'd ever hoped for and more in a friend: kind, supportive, mature most times but just playful enough to make her interesting without being annoying.
Annoying... Leafy could have sworn she'd heard herself called that so many times before. Pondering that trailing idea, she ran after it like a cat at a ball of yarn.

Don't call me N*edy: I'm sorry for telling you all this, it's a bit much and I know you're ill
thegreenestleaf: it's okay to vent to people! trust me, if I was uncomfortable I'd tell you
Don't call me N*edy: that's good to know, please do tell me when you're feeling uncomfortable

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and wheezing in a deep breath, Leafy began to recall more and more in the stream of events rushing down memory lane. Her consciousness tried to flee, to escape the pitchforks that the painful memories wielded at her, but it was too short a time before she was feeling their prongs. She opened Needle's DM once again, and began to type.

thegreenestleaf: can i tell you something?

It had been a strange day at the after school club. It was the first time she'd been here since the incident, and she wondered whether she would like it or not. But everything seemed the same.
He wasn't there.
He was nowhere to be seen, and good job. The landslide relief when she noticed the door being bolted across the seal all the excited, happy kids in the room covered all the blooming cultures of doubt inside her.
He wasn't coming. Maybe he never would again, and this place would be her sanctuary.
She also hurt for him, strongly enough for her to think she was bleeding on the inside. She missed him a lot, wanted to please him and for him to benefit from her. He hasn't meant the things he said, had he? Her mother had always told her to be kind but wary. She was being kind, wasn't she? And she was wary enough of the world already.
So when the next day Firey dragged his bookbag through the door of the classroom, she was delighted, ignoring the twinge of horror that spiked her in the heart.
"Hey! Hi Firey! I'm sorry about the other day, I love you! Please can we be friends?"
Lashing his palm out, Firey planted his hand on her chest and shoved her away, causing her to stumble backwards, gasping. Adrenaline twanged her spine in nimble fingers, but her body stayed upright. When she'd managed to catch her breath and regain her balance, he was gone. Marched off to enjoy the free chocolate spread and toast that the school club provided. Despair beginning to creep in, Leafy moved slowly over to a paint stained table and began to doodle lines and scribbles on a spare sheet of paper. Why did that not work? You were supposed to be nice to people so they would be nice back. That's what all the teachers and her parents had taught her. Treat others how you would like to be treated, and then they'll treat you the same back. Why hadn't Firey forgiven her? It's not like she'd done anything that big. She just took his pencil... maybe it had been a special pencil? To think of it, he'd always been easily rubbed up the wrong way. Just never to this degree. Never to the point of shoving her. Maybe - maybe slapping her on the arm occasionally. Was she being too intense? What the hell was she doing wrong?
The new few days it was the same. She would repeat her apology at him and he would turn away to his own thing. One time he caught her in the stomach with his elbow. Another time he punched her shoulder repeatedly, so hard that it cramped and bruised for days, and she just stood there to take it. She didn't want him to get into trouble, but he should have forgiven her. He should forgive her... all she wanted was his friendship. She just had to keep trying. The bruises were really cropping up though. Could she die from such extensive bruising?
"When will you take the hint?"
That Friday night arrived.
The night he finally took her hand.
He led her away into the back of the room, his palm soft and dry, soothing her. Her heart pounded. This was it. This was finally it, after all those weeks. They were going to be friends, and he would love her again. Again...?
The corner loomed, dark and secretive. His body almost lit up the secluded area, so bright was her hope for him.
A sharp pain in her arm, and it was extinguished. Why was she on the floor? What's happening? It was all so fast, that at first the kicks didn't hurt. They only stung once she realised what was happening, how she had been tricked. He was beating her. He was... abusing her. She missed him so much she never saw what he was capable of.
"Take the hint. Take the hint. Why aren't you understanding. I don't like you, Leafy. I don't like you. I never did."
She wasn't found for the whole hour she lay there, emotions on standby. The teachers never saw she was gone. She only picked herself up when the bell rang harshly and the front door of the school slammed shut behind Firey's miserable, miserable backside.

thegreenestleaf: sorry that was kind of a long message
thegreenestleaf: i know now I was being an idiot, Firey may have been an asshole but I wasn't entitled to him accepting my apology
thegreenestleaf: i just don't know where I went wrong in the first place? why did he hate me so much?

Closing her phone for a second, Leafy scanned her small room with her eyes, taking in everything here. Nothing reminded her even remotely of Firey. He'd been gone from her life for such a long time that she didn't even know whether he mattered to her anymore. A clump of worn clothes ready to be laundered sat in the corner like a child crying on the floor. She should probably wash them before it got too late. A slam of doors out in the corridor and a shouted oath from one of the Peruvians that lived next door, and she decided she should probably leave it another quarter of an hour.
Her phone screen lit up.

Don't call me N*edy: what the fuck? what the actual fuck? that sucks so much and I'm sorry that happened to you... Firey was a dickhead anyway, he's not worth your time thinking about. he may have made you feel good sometimes while you were friends, but he literally said he never liked you? that's horrible? fuck that bitch.

Leafy looked out at the heap of clothes again - they looked much less humanlike than she'd originally thought. An owl hooted beyond a distant car alarm and the river-rush of the motorway, reminding her of the world outside this prison cell that she'd locked herself in all day.
Things exist outside of you. Good people are not a myth. They're all around you.

thegreenestleaf: yeah...
thegreenestleaf: fuck that bitch :)))