Object show oneshots

4. Fantube - I hope you're happy

hhhhhhhhhh THIS IS ONE OF MY OTPS
THEY HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER
I LOVE THEM
9.5/10

Requested by: @LovesRoss

"I can hardly take this fucking curse anymore, Fan. It's just crushing."
Test Tube sat opposite her boyfriend in her car as they parked at the side of the road, hand gripping the gearstick as if her life depended on its clunky movement from place to place. Fan watched her, eyes glistening in the headlights of the cars that splashed past through the evening puddles. It had rained. Fan loved the rain. So therefore, Test Tube hated it.
"I'm sorry... I love seeing you happy... but it - it's just tearing me apart..."
"I'll find a way for us, I promise."
His hand touched hers, and for one moment they felt as they had done before all the troubles: whole. At one with each other.
But then, like always, it was gone.
"I don't know if we can. But I'm willing to try just one last time." she sighed. Their fingers intertwined as the rain came fizzling down in spatters once again.

"Hey Fan, wanna come play with this cool Luigi board I found?" Lightbulb asked, raising the item up above her head whilst Fan laughed at her malapropism.
"It's Ouija Board. You know that, right?"
"Well, I had always wondered why they named it after Luigi... does that count?"
"Of course not!"
They sat down in the darkened room at the back of Lightbulb's house, the only light there coming from the candles, and the only air they breathed was heavy with incense. The Ouija Board was laid out on the coffee table, light flickering eerily across it as the candle flames danced in the draft.
"Ok... I think we're ready."
Fan placed his fingers atop Lightbulb's as she took the chip that glided over the letters to display a response. She closed her eyes and asked the first question.
"Are there any spirits here, in this room?"
Fan screwed his eyes shut too, his heart pulsing as he felt the chip move smoothly of its own accord. It curved around, settling down on one of the answers in the top corner.
YES.
"Oh my..."
"Do you have anything we might want to know?"
The wooden chip didn't move. Fan felt his heart race faster as his and Lightbulb's hands slid downwards, selecting each letter before moving onto the next one.
DEPENDS ON WHETHER YOU WANT TO BE SHOCKED OR DELIGHTED.
"Groovy." Lightbulb breathed. "Will Painty ever be able to dance?"
Another string of shifts.
YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT IS NO.
Fan couldn't hold in a laugh, but regretted it after it came out. The last thing he wanted to do was anger the supernatural.
"Is Fan an idiot?"
"Hey!"
NO, BUT ALSO YES. I CAN SENSE HIS INTELLIGENCE, BUT HE HAS CHILDISH PERCEPTIONS OF THE WORLD AROUND HIM. AND ESPECIALLY OF ME.
As the sentence ended, Fan felt his vision swimming and his mouth turning dry. All of a sudden, he was bursting to ask the phantom a question himself, wondering if he would regret it, and if he really did have a skewed perception of what the beast was.
"S-spirit?"
He paused for a while, not sure if he was expecting a reply to that.
"... how long will Test Tube and I last?"
At first, the slice of polished wood did not move from over the E, as if the ghost thought to itself, but eventually, it began to slowly raise itself upwards.
AS LONG AS YOU WANT IT TO. OR, AS LONG AS YOU ARE CLEVER ENOUGH TO LEARN HOW TO KEEP YOURSELF WITH HER.
"W-what does that mean?"
YOU ARE YOUNG, FAN. I CAN SENSE YOU WILL MAKE A MISTAKE. RIGHT ABOUT
The sentence cut out, leaving Lightbulb and Fan shaken to the core, as well as slightly indignant.
"Now look here. I'd give the world for us to stay as a thing; in fact, I would sacrifice my happiness for our relationship, and I'm sure she'd do the same."
NOW.
The windows burst open as a whistling gale howled through, extinguishing all the candles and blowing the Ouija Board off the tabletop. The two people screamed in shock, and watched as the board was swept up into the air, hitting the wall and cracking into two ragged halves. Instantly the wind dropped, and all the air seemed sucked out of the room and into the night, latching and bolting the windows behind itself. Stunned, Lightbulb gazed calmly around the destroyed room.
"Well, I guess it's safe to say I'm never doing that again."

"Test Tube, can you come over? There's something we need to do to make things right again."
Fan sat at his kitchen table, staring in fear and longing at the package sitting there. His hands twitched in anticipation of pulling off the wrapping and ripping out the sinister item inside.
"I mean, right now. Come over now. I know how to fix this."

"So, this is how it all began?" Test Tube inquired, feeling a lot calmer and quirkier than she had been in a long time. This set a molten lump of lead in the bottom of her stomach, knowing that must've meant Fan was incredibly nervous. She'd always loved surprises, and that meant that Fan did not.
"Come here. I unpacked it just now."
There on the kitchen table was a Ouija Board, fresh out of the box. Its shiny surface was peppered with Gothic letters, and didn't even sport a single scratch.
"You mean... you were cursed by a demon?"
"I must've been. It destroyed Lightbulb's house and made us how we are, so it definitely had evil intentions. All we have to do is find the same spirit and offer something to change us back."
Test Tube nodded in apprehensive agreement, sitting herself down at the dining room table and flicking off the light switch. The house shuddered into darkness.
"Now all we have to do is ask if any spirits are here."
"Fan... I really don't like the feel of this."
Fan placed his hand on top of hers as they grasped the chip tightly.
"It's the only way."
"Ok... I'm ready."
Taking a deep breath in, Fan shouted his first question around the room.
"Are there any spirits currently in this place?"
The chip moved, gravitating towards the top corner.
NO.
"Are you lying to us?"
YES.
Shuddering with unease, Test Tube almost imagined she felt a cold, ghostly hand caress her back.
"C-can you direct us to the spirit that cursed me a few months ago?"
The chip glided downwards.
I CAN BRING HIM HERE NOW, IF YOU WISH. BUT DO BEWARE.
"Thank you, kind ghost."
A gale suddenly rushed through under the kitchen door, whining across the flagstones. Something... bigger had entered. Test Tube quaked, but Fan was fearless in his questioning.
"May you change us back?"
NO.
"And why not? Am I too young? Too impressionable?"
YOU ARE TOO STUPID.
Fan would've retorted, had a plate not rolled from the drying rack and smashed over the floor. The two young lovers jumped, crying out at the sudden sound.
"What did I ever do to deserve this, phantom?"
LET'S SEE. YOU DISTURBED ME FROM MY SLUMBER, MADE ABOUT INSULTING ME, THEN BRING ME BACK ONLY TO INSULT ME AGAIN? YOU'RE EITHER VERY BRAVE OR VERY, VERY IGNORANT.
"What's your game, demon?"
Fan's teeth were gritted strongly against a more powerful question, as he sat seething with rage.
MY GAME? THE REAL QUESTION IS, WHAT'S YOURS?
That was it. He'd finally snapped.
"MY GAME IS TO GET MY LIFE BACK. ALL I ASKED YOU AT FIRST WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION ANOUT HOW LONG I WOULD BE ABLE TO KEEP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, AND YOU COME OUT WITH YOUR CRYPTIC ANSWERS THAT MEAN NOTHING! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN RUIN THE LIVES OF INNOCENT HUMANS?"
Crippling silence gripped the house. All the two could hear was the heaving of their breath and the uncomfortable throbbing of their hearts. All of a sudden, the Ouija Board began to rock against the table, spinning upwards and around until it sprung off. Regretting his words, Fan threw his hands up to shield his face from any impact that the ghost could throw at him.
YOU SHOULD BE REGRETTING THOSE WORDS. RIGHT ABOUT...
Fan turned desperately to give Test Tube one last glance of terror, realising he'd made a terrible mistake. He mouthed a goodbye to her as a pinprick of light opened into a furnace of a portal, swallowing his earthly body up forever.
NOW.

ow The edge