After Her. Jjk & Kth ✓

23. "Happy"

Fiela avoids his eyes again and looks down at her legs. "I know you love me...and I love you too, so much."

"Then what's the matter?" He asks desperately. He rapidly goes on the bed sitting on it looking into her eyes. "We can only work if we listen and talk to each other. I want to make it right,"

"But that's the thing it's not you, it's me. I cause my own problems literally. Look," she turns her body to face him. "Babe, the way you are right now, you're so perfect in everything you do. Of course you've got your faults here and there but naturally as a person, I think you are perfect. Which brings me to my problem." She takes a deep breath ready to explain. "When I see you, I see how lucky and utterly blessed I am to have you. And for me that's my joy, knowing that you love me makes me feel all sorts of things. Like, how can you love me when I'm pissed or being possessive?- No-no- please let me let everything out," she says stoping Jungkook who was about to interject.

"Okay," he nods his head.

"I get insecure. I really do. I look at my body everyday in the mirror and wonder why you're still with me. I'm a mother of three kids and... probably even more.. "she hints quickly before speaking again. "My body is not getting any skinny or fit. I'm literally gaining weight and not keeping a revenge body. So when I see Hwasa, I see her perfect hair and flawless back, and never ending stunning long legs as well as her swift way of walking. And then I look at myself again... I don't have what she's got-"

Jungkook smiles and shakes his head, laying his hand on the side of her head. All this time she was worried about that?

"-she's got everything and in my opinion she's still fresh. I'm already used. Yet I can't control how I feel when you look at me like that..like I'm the most beautifulist person alive."

"Because you are," he says gently caressing her hair.

She slowly smiles bringing her hand up to his arm."I remember when I was raped... I thought that I was finished literally. I thought that I'd only get what I'd deserve like a husband who's a drug addict or who would beat me up because that's what I felt like I deserved. I didn't deserve someone as handsome and amazing as you. You showed me so many things and I fell in love with that. I fell in love with how you made me feel about myself and I fell in love with the world in you. I've never felt insecure again because I knew my own strength and the strength you gave me. So when Hwasa came and you started..being with her. I felt insecure. I didn't feel beautiful compared to her. I didn't feel like the shit or the wife you loved. And I tried to reassure myself that yes, you do love me and yes you'd never do anything to make me feel less but Hwasa honestly took me by storm. But... I was wrong for feeling that way..."

"No-"

"Babe, the thing about silence is that it gives me time to think and try to understand," she smiles and drags him in the middle of the bed. He positions himself and she sits next to him leaning her head on his shoulder. "It was wrong for me to feel all those things because I know that no matter what I am beautiful in my eyes and in your eyes. You never ever get tired of me, no matter how wild and crazy and freaky I get, you're still here. It was wrong for me to treat Hwasa that way. To compare her with me. I feel like I made you feel that you weren't allowed to have any friends. I wasn't being considerate at all. I put my feelings as the main priority and just disregarded yours...ours. And for that I am so sorry. After everything you've done for me, and the amount of times you've tried to prove to me that I'm all you see. I neglected your feelings and only thought about what was right for me. I hadn't come to tell you how I feel because I was ashamed of how I was feeling.. even those times when you came to me, I was mad for feeling the way I did. I caused my own problems.."

"In my eyes you'll always be the one for me you know." He says swiftly and gets on top of her. He spreads her legs slowly bringing her closer to him, so that he's in the middle. He smiles and kneels while his hands remain on her thighs slowly trailing up and down. "I know that when I first mat you, my heartbeat started beating differently. I never believed in love or relationships. I've never touched a woman before and I always ran away from them. But when I met you, with all your flaws, I knew that I'd always love you and your body and cherish it like my own,"