After Her. Jjk & Kth ✓

22. "Let Me Know"

"Let's discuss this while seated," Suga tries his luck again but it fails as Aufilea keeps her watery eyes fixed on Jungkook.

"You talk about honesty all the time and how I should never keep things from you, yet you keep the biggest secret of my life. You lie with no conscious and tell me to tell you the truth. What kind of torture is that? Till when were you gonna lead me on? Till when would you decide to drop the lies and fake love and pity? Now I see that it's not love, not father's stuff but that it's all a lie. You got in my heart by lying from the very beginning- you fucking lied. About everything. I never want you in my life after this. Ever again. I hate you for you did–"

"Don't-" Fiela gets cut off by Aufilea.

"I don't even want to hear you mum. You had a sister that I didn't even know about? My own aunt. Was she also a liar? Did she keep things from people too? Was that the reason she was murdered? My uncle was alive all this while and you didn't even tell me. In fact I didn't even know if had any other family besides you and Grandpa and Grandma. I had a family I wasn't even aware of. I am a product of being raped." She points to the Pastor behind her. "All these secrets and you kept them away from me. You even got the whole family to lie. You kept my life and family away from me. That is not love. It's not protection. It's not comfort. The feeling of being lied to. Waking up and realising that all my life was built on a lie. I hate that you kept this from me. I feel hurt that you all did this. I understand if you would've told me with your own mouth, I wouldn't feel like I'm a product of rape, or like a child you never wanted. I feel this hate building in me. This hate for life, the life that was taken from me. If only things were different, I wouldn't hate you or the man you married or that raped you, or my uncle who I never knew or even your sister. But I hate them all. I hate of them all."

Aufilea breathes heavily through her nostrils glaring down at Fiela. More than anything, she was angry at her mum. Angry like the raging seas threatening to kill everyone- but yet she was conceived by her mother. Meaning her mother was the Queen of raging waves.

"How weak were you to tell me tru–"

Before anyone else can think a loud smack jolts everyone. The slap takes everyone by surprise as Fiela's arm shoots sharply striking Aufilea on her cheek. Fiela's lips tremble and her eyes blurred with tears. "How dare you say such things?"

Jungkook stands behind Fiela and holds her shoulders. "Fiela,"

"I was raped. Okay?" Fiela states. "I bared that pain. So that you could live. I am not weak. I will never be weak. The spine that carried your body was never weak. I stood back up. I took the pain." Fiela beats her chest. "I did not give up because I knew I had life in me. And that life would not die, no matter how much I refused to eat in those days, or hurt myself. You wouldn't die. And that kept me going. I lived so that I could see you. I lived to see you soon grow and be strong like me. I lived so that you could have a better and happier life. I gave birth to you at 16. I was the shame of my family. But I stayed strong and never gave up on you or myself. And all you can say is you hate me? After everything I had to put up with for you to smile, and you hate me?" Fiela asks clearly hurt. "Okay, hate me. Hate me all you want. But don't you ever, ever bring my sister into your foul mouth. My sister loved you. When everyone else had given up on me, she stood by me at all times. She was not a liar- infact she was the definition of love. She was murdered because of love, okay! She helped me. She was the only person who never gave up on me even with my moods with you. So don't you even talk about someone you don't know. Hate me all you want but I love you with all my heart, I carry your heart with my heart. This same heart you once broke was mended by the the love I had for you. I love you."

Fiela's eyes are drenched in tears.

"I never wanted you to feel any pain. To feel the pain I felt. To feel this pain. This pain that you're feeling now, this anger this hate. I never wanted you to see the ugly. I gave you life, life that you took from my milk. I kept you alive and covered you with my arms. You are my baby. And after shielding you from all the ugly–"

Fiela sniffs staring at Aufilea who interrupts with a venomous tone. "You did not shield me, you lied to me. You do not lie to the people you love. To the baby you love. You do not allow them to grow up with lies. I never knew who I was because of you. You are the definition of the ugly in world. You lie and lie and keep things that matter the most. I am an adult now, I know the truth and refuse to live in a house full of secrets and lies...and hate. I don't want this. I want to see the world with my eyes now, not with the lies that your milk filled me up with. I will give you back the life that was ripped from you, but I will not stay here and be a reminder of the pain you went through. Because through everything you said, your pain is me. You gave up your life, for the sake of my happiness and that caused you pain."

Jungkook speaks up feeling Fiela's shoulders shaking. "Anger can make you say things that aren't–"

"What do you know about anger?" Aufilea turns quick to look at Jungkook. "Anger doesn't come from what I say, but from what I feel. And what I feel is root anger. I'm angry from my birth till today. I have lived my entire life believing that you are my father. I have engraved in my heart that you will always be there for me and never lie. That you will never ever lie to me. But yet you kept this secret from me- you know what screw this rape thing for a second. Do you wanna know why I'm really angry with you? Why I'm already resenting you so much?"

Jungkook keeps his steady eyes on her.

"Is that you'll never know what it's like to be told that your life is a lie. That the people you trust the most, hurt you the most. You hurt me by not telling me the truth. You hurt me by living this fake life with me. You hurt me by constantly reminding me now that I am not your blood. That I will never be your real daughter. That you love your own children more then you'll love me. That when you look at me, you don't see my heart but instead you see your duty to finish because I am not yours. You aren't my father. You aren't my dad. You don't love me like you claim. I can't even look you in the eye and feel or believe that you are always gonna be there for me..or that you actually care for me. You took care for me out of pity. You love her and your kids. Not me. You will never see me as your child-"

"That's not true-"

"Then why didn't you tell me! If you consider me, why didn't you let me know!"

"When was I supposed to do that? Look at you, you're already broken. You've already said and spoke your heart. I didn't want to break you. I didn't want to break your heart. I knew this would happen but I dreaded this because of how different you would feel towards everything including me."

"You should've opened up to me even it hurt. Hearing it from you would mean so much to me." She puts her hand up silencing him. "You were the one who told me the truth hurts and that I should always say it even if it hurts the people around me. You kept this lie up for 22 years, 2 decades and not once did you think it was a lie? That even makes it worse. So what other things do you consider not as a lie that will hurt me?"

With one last look at her dad she turns to her mum and shakes her head.

"You lied to me every time. I don't trust you anymore mum. I can't trust and that why I can't be here anymore,"

"What does that mean?" Fiela asks immediately stepping forward.

"I'm leaving."

Aufilea leaves the house quickly just as Yoongi assures to the couple that he'd make sure she was safe.

The door closes and Fiela and Jungkook are left standing by the corridor with nothing to say. Jungkook turns to Fiela finally and feels a pit in him.

"You don't want to talk to me. Aufilea hates me. And now, I really don't know what to do." He looks away from her and runs his hand down his face. "I get tired too you know. Right now I'm really really–" He cuts himself and walks away leaving Fiela standing alone.

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Chapter 22