Scarlett

2 - Jackson

Jackson's POV

Present Day:

Hotel room, airport, plane, hotel room, airport, plane - welcome to my life which at the moment seems to be set on this endless cycle. It has been more than 3 months since I have stepped foot inside my own house, over 90 days since I have slept in my own bed, over 2000 hours since I have eaten in my own kitchen. I can barely remember what the inside of my house looks like or even what colour the walls are. It was only one of the many reasons she left me.

Don't get me wrong, there is no one to blame but me - this was all my idea, a dream of mine actually - lucky enough Hunter could see the potential in my dreams and set me on the path to making it a reality. It had been constant hard work though the last 12 months in particular had been extremely challenging. Going into any new business venture was going to be a struggle to begin with but this latest one, the hotel and casino resort structure had been the most complicated and had kept me away from home a lot.
It had been an amazing addition for Stilton Corporation and if it was successful enough the potential for growth was endless, it was gold for me professionally but an absolutely killer on my personal life - let's just say if my marriage wasn't in trouble before it definitely would have been after.

Can I blame her - no. Not really. I was already a pretty absentee husband, once I had to start travelling all the time it was only a matter of time before she was over it and walked out the door. And me being the jerk I was I just let her go, I didn't even try and stop her.

Lifting my head from the hardness of the plastic airport chair I had been waiting in for almost 2 hours - I was still met with the same 'flight delayed' sign displayed on the notice board. Pulling my phone from my pocket I dialled the number, the phone ringing only briefly before the soft voice answered,

"Hey You"

"Hey beautiful, how are you?"

"Ahhh, I'm ok, I'm a bit tired but ok"

I still loved the sound of her voice, I could tell from the way she spoke exactly how tired she was, though she still had the same softness to her that she always had, only when she was tired it added a whole layer of sexiness to her that I really shouldn't be thinking about.

"You still in the office?"

"Yeah, we had to fire one of the chefs at 'exquisite' for theft. I have been face-timing possible replacements all morning, I really am hoping I don't to have to fly out there"

"That's shit Scar, you want me to head out there for you?? "

"No Jax, You don't need to do that, beside I think it's time you came home, it's been awhile yeah?"

I sighed, both hating and loving the fact that even after all this time and everything we had been through both separately and together she still knew me better than anyone. She knew I was avoiding the fact my reality needing facing.

"Yeah, your probably right"

"Are you still at the airport?"

"Yeah, fuck heads keep delaying my flight"

Her soft voice giggled through the phone, causing me to smile,

"Jackson Knight, here you are richer than you could have ever dreamed of, business executive of a multi national company - not to mention you are only 30 years old but there you go - still swearing like that 18 year old teenage boy"

"God I hated that kid" I groaned, Scarlett laughing again, before I continued "How is that beautiful boy??"

"Hmmm, sleeping like an angel" I could hear in her voice she was smiling, and I could just imagine her leaning over the portable cot in her office watching him.

She was an amazing mother, she doted on that little man like there was no tomorrow, not that I could blame her - he was perfect, just like her, though his looks were a mirror image of Hunter and Sebastian.
Still, Logan had definitely been blessed he got to have her for a mother - especially when his father was away a lot.

"I bet he has gotten so big Scar"

"Yeah" she paused, sadness filling her tone suddenly "Jax I have to go, I'll see you when you get home ok?"

And there is was, the awkwardness of us finally catching up - sometimes it took longer than to show, tonight I guess it just happened a lot sooner.

"Ok sure, Bye Scar"

"See you later Jackson"

I sighed, letting my head fall backwards. Just one more thing I can add to the list of shit I had fucked up and now I had the extra bonus of waiting for my flight to be called on top of a 6 hour flight for my brain to focus on all the things I could have done, all the things that I should have done differently.
I'll admit, when it came to Scarlett she had always been the only one I saw, no one else had ever or would ever come close to her, not even the woman I married - I know I'm a complete asshole right - Nothing has really changed there.
At first I thought she would be nothing more than a rebound, a one night stand I would use for a good time like so many other woman before her, a means to an end to forget the tanned skinned raven haired beauty who clouded my thoughts. But this one kept coming back, beautiful in her own way, with her long blonde hair and soft green eyes, a tall and trim figure - Jayne - she was the complete opposite of my Scarlett - but she took my mind off being consumed by thoughts of the one woman I would never be good enough to call my own - no matter how much I wanted her .
Anyway after awhile, I got used to her - to Jayne. She was easy to be with you know, she put up with my mood swings, tried her hardest to look after me and god knows I never made that easy. But it still was never like it had been with Scarlett.

Fuck - I should have manned up 3 years ago, 7 years ago - fuck I should have just manned up 10 god damn years ago. It's just one more endless cycle right, the what if I cycle. One that I have visited quite a few times over the years.
To gain what exactly - for me it was just a way of torturing myself, imagining how if I had of reacted to different situations in our lives what the outcome could be.

But our lives were set on this path now and no matter how many times I dreamed of the what if, nothing would ever change the reality we were in. I had to settle, sit back and watch her be someone else's wife, to be the mother to her gorgeous little man, a little man she shared with her husband, a husband who was not me.