Scarlett

33 - Scarlett

I swear my heart was pounding so hard in my chest I actually believed it was going to break right through. I don't think I had ever felt this nervous in my entire life.
Today was our D-Day.
The entire build up to this moment had created nothing but an endless array of sleepless nights, quiet moments at the dinner table and lots and lots of tears.
Carson took it hard - he didn't say it out loud, but I knew him better than anyone. It was in his facial expression, in the way his eyes would lock on to Mya when we were together as a family it was in the way he would close his eyes and hold her a little tighter when she would hug him on her way out the door.
Our loud family dinners had become quiet and some what somber and at night I would go to bed and wake up alone, but I would feel him come to bed late and he always, always held me so tight to him.
The plan today was Carson and I were going to pack a lunch and take Mya out to a quiet spot. Jax was going to join us and we would try to explain the whole situation but my nerves were 100% shot.

"Hey sweetheart"

I was standing at the kitchen counter when Carson came up behind me, his big arms wrapping around my waist,

"You doing ok Lettie?"

"Yeah, I guess" I turned to face my gorgeous husband, cupping his cheek in my hand.

"Are you ok Cage?"

"No" he chuckled "No part of me is ok with this Lettie, I get it - I get we need to tell her, I get she has a right to know - but fuck Lettie, I"

My heart broke again as his face twisted in pain, his hold on me tightening as he dropped his face against my shoulder,

"Cage?"

"I can't lose her Scarlett, she is my baby, I don't want to lose her"

"Cage" I lifted his face with my two hands, holding his focus on me "You are her Dad Carson in every meaning of the word, you're the one who raised her, the one who was there for her every single day for the past 14 years. Cage she is your baby girl ok - she loves you so much. Is she going to be upset, angry - yes - without a doubt - but I don't think any of that will be aimed at you Carson. It will be me"

And here come the tears again -

"I'm the one she will be angry with, I'm the one who is going to hurt her, to change her whole world, I'm the one she will hate Carson"

"Baby, No"

Cage pulled me closer to him, our roles reversed he now held my face in his hands, our eyes connected as he swiped his thumbs across my tear stained cheeks,

"We have raised some amazing kids Scarlett, good kids and she may hate us for a while but she will come around baby, I know our daughter and she will be ok"

Cage gave me a small smile as he pressed his soft lips to mine,

"I love you so much Carson, so much"

"I know Lettie, I love you"

The checkered picnic blanket was spread over the ground, the warm summer sun beating down on us. We had taken Mya out of school today and being that it was the middle of a school day the lake was almost deserted.
Jax sat on one side of me - his arms around his bent knees, Carson was on my other side, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he rested on his elbows, both of them with gazes fixed on me - waiting for me to lead the conversation.
Mya was laying on her stomach, her long dark curls running down her back - her kindle open on whatever novel had grabbed her attention today.

"Baby, can you give me a second?"

"Sure Mum" she powered the device off and swung her long legs into a crossed position, she smiled at all three of us, "what's going on? Are you guys ok?"