Silverfish

MVP- Most Vulnerable Person

I can't fucking cope with this shit anymore, these perpetual laments of pain and anxiety. I can feel them slowly creeping into my mind, clawing their way up, beyond any sort of objection.

This pain lays flat, hot, pressing down on my chest like some sort of heavy iron. I can't move–I try my fucking hardest–and I can't breathe. I literally can't do anything but submit to it, lifelessly staring up at the ceiling above myself, tearing away at every thought that plagues my happiness.

What is happiness? I don't even know. And I don't mean to sound like some faux, ego-centric, bullshit philosopher attempting to appeal to post-generations and so on. I am simply asking, genuinely.

I do not believe I've ever experienced any sort of happiness whatsoever. I've always felt this very terrible fog that perhaps clouds wherever this ebullience seems to derive from. Everything is so gray, diluted, and stale.

I remain unmoving and entirely stagnant as the pressure pulls at my chest with more vigor each time. My breath becomes wavered and challenged, and with each pathetic attempt to push it off of myself, the heavier it seems to get.

I think I should just kill myself.