College is a time to grow while being wild and free. Still living reckless comes with consequences. It's all a part of life's cruel game. The question still remains: who will win and who will lose. Both Pharaoh and Essence have the highest to lose.
Kira agreed to take me home once I showed her the messages. She also refuse to leave though. We went to my house and I just waited on him to let me know he was there. Kira wanted to wait for me to get back home to make sure I was okay. Once he finally text me I felt my heart race. This was it... this was the end of us.
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Pharaoh
I stood at the park entrance waiting for Essence. She didn't take long to cross the street but once she was near me she kept a good distance between us. It hurt knowing I couldn't hug and kiss her the way I wanted to. I knew she was still hurting. Her eyes were red with bags and her energy was just different.
"Hey ma"
"Hi" her voice came out in a whisper
"You want to walk or sit down?"
She shrugged before walking pass me and sitting on the first bench. I sat beside her putting a little distance between us but watching her the entire time. She looked uncomfortable and irritated. I sighed before hanging my head hoping to find the words to say.
"Why?" she spoke first, still in a whisper
"I can't tell you honestly. We were dumb, doing stupid shit... not thinking about the consequences. It was a joke at first when we were talking to some friends then it became a game... I never meant to hurt you baby"
"Did you win?" she looked away
I shook my head feeling my tears begin to fall.
"Did you?" she looked at me
"I ended the bet... I ended it before we ever had sex Essence, I promise. You're the first girl I've had feelings for like this. I'm being honest baby girl, I had no intentions on falling for you... but I did and I wanted us to last forever. I didn't want to tell you because I knew this is how it would've played out"
She wiped her tears that fell before looking away again.
"Essence... baby I need you. I love you with everything in me. All these feelings came so fast and I can't let them go... let you go. Please just believe me. I'm sorry---"
"I can't trust you Pharaoh" she looked at me "You were exactly what you swore you weren't from day one. You sold me a bunch of bullshit. I let you see me at my weakest and you still played me for a fool"
"I didn't try---"
"You didn't have to try!" she yelled "You did it though. Just being around you makes me sick to my stomach... As much as I love you and I love you... I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be friends. I don't want to see you around. I want you and everybody to leave me the hell alone"
I nodded my head looking away from her.
"Nobody knows we ended except who was there... you can choose to tell them whatever you want. For me... it just didn't work out"
