Anti x child reader (Completed)

I'm sorry that I let you down

Chases pov

//You ruin everything! You should leave! You know that they dont want you here! You let a child get hurt!//

,,S-stop... p-please... I c-can't t-take it..."

,,Chase? Hey-Hey Chase look at me!"

Jack grabbed my shoulders and looked at me, his face showing how scared he was, eyes watering...

I still dont know if everyone is just faking everything...

The voices in my head led to me belive that no one really likes me.

I'm a mistake, my kids are better off without me. I should've stayed sober... but I can't stop!

Everything was hard to deal with back then but it just got worse and worse as time went on.

I will never see my kids in school.

I just want to hold them again but I cant even see them, cant pick them up from school, buy ice cream after a they got a good grade or just because I want to.

I want to hug them tight when this world puts them down, I want to see them smile, hear them laugh but theres no way...

Stacy will win in court... I wish I could keep my hands off the alcohol especially after I saw Y/N with Anti...

How can a murderer be a better father than me? 

I fucked up and I cant go back...

I-If a genie would grant me just one wish... all I would want was everything for my kids.

I wish they find the love of their life, I wish someone would protect them especially since...

I cant...

I hurt someone elses kid... How can I still stand here? 

Tears started to form in my eyes, which led me to not see Jacks face anymore.

But in the end it makes no difference anyway...

Everyone wears a mask around me...

Hide their pain even though I can clearly see it. I know they don't want to put more on my shoulders but i would love to hear their problems too, help them... hug them tight...

,,Chase?! Can you hear me?"

I shook my head and wiped the tears from my eyes.

,,I'm alright. Dont worry."

,,Are you sure? Chase... you can always talk to me. You know that right?"

I nodded with a tired smile and placed a hand on his shoulder, looking at him.

,,I'm alright. Thank you..."

I turned away and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Locking it.

//Hiding again? Didnt they tell you not to do that?//

,,Shut up."

//Youre right. You hiding away is probably better. Who would want to see you?//

,,P-Please s-stop-"

I stood infront of the mirror, looking at myself. The bags under my eyes got worse and worse everyday, I guess humans really need sleep to function huh?

My hand slowly reached out and opened the cabinet, looking through my stuff with shaking hands.

//Searching for your last escape huh?// 

I turned around and there he was...

The man in the suit with the red tie staring down at me, holding what I was searching for.

,,G-give me that!"

//And why would I do that when seeing you struggle to get it from my hands is so much more entertaining?//

I walked over to him, trying to grab it but he held them over my head. He laughed, moving away when I took a step forward.

I needed those razor blades. I needed them so bad and he knew it.

//Aww... running after me for those little things... I wonder what would happen if...//

He held them over the toilet with a big smile on his face.

//3...//

,,N-No! wait!"

//2...//

I ran over to him, a glass fell to the floor and shattered, the water spilling on the floor. I slipped and fell backwards. 

//1...//

I looked at him as he dropped them in and flushed them down the drain. 

//HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH//

His laughter was all around me as I frantically turned around and tried to grab a shard of glass, but they disappeared right infront of my eyes.

,,N-No!"

Someone knocked on the door.

//Aww theyre worried about you... how about I just...//

He walked over and tried to take the keys to open the door but I was faster, took them and sent them after the razor blades.

,,Chase? Are yu alraight? I herd vhat happened... How about ve vatch a movie wif some popcorn and nachos? The one wif cheeze dip yu laike zo much."

//Aww how nice of the doc... //

,,N-no... th-thank you.. I-Im alright... I-i just need to be alone right now... a-and we're out of N-...nachos anyway..."

,,I kan bui zome for yu if zhatz zhe problem."

//Come on... just talk to him. He would "totally understand..."//

,,no... I need space."

I heard him sigh and a small thud sound, he was probably resting his head aginst the door.

,,Chase im worried... Ve all lofe yu... dont forget zhat... I-I'll leave you alone if you promise me that you won't... do anything..."

How can I promise him something that I can't even promise myself? Why am I so stuck? I need help, I know but they're already annoyed with me and if one knows... all of them will soon after.

They'll send me away!

Lock me up!

Take everything away from me.

Bars infront of the windows!

My mind is already a prison I don't need a physical one to haunt me more!

I can't escape this!

The pain won't end no matter what I try! I can't stay alive like this! I want everyone to feel the pain I felt. I want to leave and see them finally care! 

//...He is still infront of the door Chase. He will break down the door if you dont say anything...//

I pulled off my hat and grabbed my hair, pulling at it as I sat on my knees, trying to say something.

,,Chase?"

~~~

I'm really sorry but I've been getting so many comments that I cant answer all of them anymore... Im really sorry! I'll try my best! <3