Until the sun shines [h.s.]

Chapter 13

Harry

I figured (how much ever I possibly could from my frozen gaze) that she still hadn't recognised me. Considering the way I had draped the scarf and adorned the sunglasses on my face, Sumire must have even thought I was a serial killer. But all she seemed to care about was a snorting Lila beside me as she neared to pick her up. I was glad Sumire still had her beautiful brown locks and tattoo-free skin; her desire to "sometimes shave off" her head and "be a punk" always frightened me. Yet somehow, the thing that relieved me was the happiness on her face, the happiness that was consumed within the fears of being someone she never could a few days back.

Just when she was about to leave, without even acknowledging my assistance, I chirped a small, "wait" and I knew it was the wrong time for my voice to crack. Sumire seemed extremely alerted and almost as if she knew who I was. For a split second, I thought I saw a glint of hope in her eye. But all of that washed away when she said, "excuse me?". All I really wanted to do was hold her in my arms, for as long as it will take to find her lost soul while she heals my scavenged heart with the tickles of her soft breathe. How bad did I want to feel her soft lips on mine while she slowly exhales all her stress and melts right away in the embrace. How bad did I want to let her know that I was here for her.

I could see Janice appear in distance and by the look on her face, she seemed to recognise Sumire. But rather than freaking out, she decided upon taking Lila along with her- even if that made her uncomfortable-and for now, she was my saviour. "I'm sorry but you know it's impolite to take someone's child away?" Sumire grunted grabbing a strong hold of Lila. "Ma'am I'm jus-" I interrupted Janice's explanation, "Let her go with Janice for a minute. Please?" Judging her expression, I guess she knew who I was by now. Sumire stood there dead while loosening off Lila's wrist.

"H-ha-Harry?..."

Sumire

If I didn't care so much about the public around, I'd definitely have kissed him. I knew he would come for me, but it still didn't fail to surprise me how out of the whole world, Harry knew I was here. I was here, crippling under his emerald green stare.

I took a few minutes to register the whole scenario- and another few to come up with an explanation for all of this. "Sumire I want you to calm down. Please take a seat and don't worry, I'm not barging you on an explanation. The letter did the talking." Harry understood the stuttering tone that was about to set off if he wouldn't have comforted me. It hurt bad enough to make me feel like shit knowing that he will always love me more that I would ever love him- not that it's a competition, but the fact that I technically never made him feel as special as he made me feel was beginning to sink in.

"I'm sorry Haz. I know I'm acting like a hormonal teenager. And just so you feel better, I'm punishing myself internally for all that I put you through." And there I go, with the streams of tears rushing down. "Hey, hey! Believe me when I say I've known that my life with you wasn't going to be a smooth ride. But that's one reason I wanted you. Sum, accidents are meant to happen only for beautiful endings like these." And before I knew, he'd enveloped me into a warm hug. This is what I needed, this is what I really wanted. Life seemed beautiful and birds around seemed ecstatic at this very moment. I repeated his words in my mind. "... beautiful endings like these." I sternly broke off the hug and as rude as it may have seemed, I was just confused about MANY words he just said.

"What do you mean by 'beautiful endings' ?" I interrogated, furrowing my eyebrows. "I know you are sorry, and I know you want all of this to be back to normal. I'm here to take you back to the endless mornings you want to wake up to my mouth all drooly, or the family brunches we'd still tease eachother or late nights playing Ludo with the boys while Lux silently cheers you." He was now holding my hand, expectantly looking into my eyes.
"Harry, I really am guilty. But I can't leave now." The way I shook off his hand definitely startled Harry.
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"You see, I'm not Ecstatic but I'm happy here. I need sometime for myself- to know what I want. I feel sorry every moment, but there is a family here, who is my refuge. I can't disappoint them."
"What about me? Where do I lie in your life?"
"I'm sorry Haz-"
"I'm done with that" Harry's voice raised a level, yet the frustrated tears broke out. "Please spare me another "sorry" Sumire. I'm tired of constantly putting your needs first while my own get squashed. Maybe you think you love me because a few months ago, I was just some stupid celebrity crush of yours!" What had just left his mouth was enough to now fire my raging tears and he almost looked apologetic for the outburst. This was the first time I'd seen him so angry and worked up. His otherwise bright eyes were now a darker shade with an empty look in them, as clear as the ocean- and that was spine chilling because what would come out of his mouth next was wildly unpredictable.

I couldn't believe what he had just imposed on me. That's what he thought about me? Sure I wasn't good enough to express my emotions, but who was he to label my feelings for him? Just as he began to speak something, now calmer after brushing a violent hand over his hair, I didn't let him talk, "That's it. I'm a douche and that's bad. But not bad enough as someone assuming all of this was a show. Now before you say anything along the lines of me being with you just for the limelight, let me reward you by silently walking away and not attracting any paparazzi." I frantically swiped off the burning tears that must have left my eyes deep red. I stomped towards the opposite direction while still wanting to hug him and tell him how much I wanted him. And jokes on me, after all that I did, my shameless self hoped that his arms would drape me as he apologises, burying his face into my hair. But this wasn't a Nicholas Sparks novel. I knew I made a mistake mixing reality with fantasy when I ran off the wedding, but it was officially too late to turn back for both of us now headed to different pathways- different DIRECTIONS.

"Summy, what happened?" I felt Lila's innocent gaze searching for mine. "Nothing sugarplum. The man just thought I looked like an old school friend. Shall we head home? Summy is tired." With a nod of approval from Lila and apologetically smiling at the assistant, silently thanking her for taking care of Lila, I dreaded towards the exit. Turning back one last time, I saw Harry completely still with his head dropping down. What hurt wasn't the fact that he said all of those things but the scary possibility that some of it was true and I couldn't love him just enough to get us through this together...

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Heya, I know I have been lazily inactive but I promise longer chapters❤️ I don't want to seem extra, but writing this chapter was a heartache. And re-reading the whole thing for proofreads was even more painful. I'm really trying to pour my heart into this and I hope you guys love my efforts to make this story as far from a cliched one as possible🤓🤗

Love,
V.