Chapter 18 - It doesn't get better

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 Cynthia's POV

Months have passed. My mother became this quiet figure of sadness as she loses more hope each day that passes. The detective doesn't answer our calls anymore, he said that he will let us know if he find anything or have new news. I came into the routine of going to work, going home, eating and then falling asleep watching television without paying any attention of what I had watch. I never thought that the vacation would turn out to be the biggest nightmare of my entire life. I felt alone and powerless. I knew my sister had to be dead by now but something inside me was still awaken by the unknown of her whereabouts. My mind didn't want to rest or make peace because I didn't know if she needed help or could still be saved. I knew my mother felt the same because while I slept over some nights I could hear her walking around in the house calling out for Samantha, asking where she is or if she's dead that she should send us a sign. The hardest part was to decide if we should have a memorial for her or not, it would mean that we give up on searching for her and accepting that she had passed away. I really wish I could apologize for ruining her only day on the cruise and because I was so mean to her. I said things that I never meant to say in that way. I never saw Devon again after he got off at the first island. He never contacted me again or accepted my friend request on Facebook. The dogs are living with my mother now and we left Sammy's house just the way it was when she left. We didn't have the courage to pack up her belongings. The cruise continued after they have searched everywhere for Sammy on the first island that we got off. I took the first flight home to our mother. Sammy must have fallen overboard and drowned. I get nightmares every night of her floating in the ocean with her eyes wide open. She had on the same red dress that I last saw her in and her blond hair floated above her head. I was inside the water as well, even tough I could breathe. I yelled her name over and over but she just sunk deeper and deeper into the ocean until she was only a white spec surrounded by the darkness. I woke up screaming and soaked in my own sweat. Mom is an amazing supporter trough out this hard time, even tough she is hurting most of all.

"Excuse me, Miss?" The client brought me back from my thoughts.

"Sorry, You said eggs toast and no bacon?" I said as I wrote down my words.

"I said eggs, bacon and no toast." The client said and gave me a dirty look.

I nodded quickly and turned around to hurry to the kitchen to avoid the situation. My body kept feeling cold and weak and like I would burst out in tears from any little thing.

I dropped the tray which I held under my arm and as soon as I bent over to pick it up, I felt a hard slap on my bottom. I lost my balance and stumbled over. I looked up to see who cause me to fall and saw two men sitting by the bar.

"Don't be such a sensitive bitch! It wasn't even that hard. You don't have any balance at all do you?" He said and laughed loudly with his friend.

"That's why you should hold her tight from behind to keep her from falling on her face!" The second man said and gave the other one a high five.

I burst out in tears and quickly jumped up and ran towards the bathrooms. I closed the door with every bit of strength left inside of me before I collapsed on the floor. The blood pumped viciously inside my head and I flinched after every pounding in my head.

There was a soft knock on the door. I didn't have the energy to answer.

"Cynthia..? Are you all right?" A voice said calmly after the door creaked open.

I looked up and saw Rick, our chef, in the doorway.

"No. I can't anymore." I cried out. My eyes were burning and swollen from all the tears.

He lifted me from the floor and gave me a hug before he took me to the basin to rinse my face. My heart rate calmed down from his caring touch.

I wiped my own eyes with paper towels.

"Please come and eat with me tonight. I want to be a friend to you." He said, his dark brown eyes filled with sympathy.

I felt embarrassed for breaking down at work.

The two guys had left when we got out of the bathroom. Rick went back to the kitchen and I continued serving the customers.

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