•B•L•I•N•D•

•25•

"I think she has depression,"

Sasha bit her lip at the words spewing from her supposed best friend's mouth. Who gave her the right to say that? Who gave her the right to privately discuss with Sasha's own fiancé, Sasha's mental health. She was fine. She was just sick of everyone constantly freaking out over her. Yeah her life sucked but she didn't need people hovering her every two seconds.

What upset Sasha the most was the fact that Seth and Rebecca were alone. Seth hadn't even told Sasha that he was inviting her over.

"You know I really wish I left you poor in Pittsburgh," Sasha chuckled walking into the kitchen, "my life would be so much easier. You know what actually, my life would've been one hundred times easier if you hadn't of slept with my father,"

Seth's eyes went wide listening to Sasha speak. Sasha never tried to intentionally hurt somebody. What had gotten into her?

"I thought we were passed that," Rebecca sighed, "Sasha I'm not trying to make things hard for you. But you're right you didn't have to help me,"

"Sasha stop this isn't you!" Seth exclaimed. He grabbed her arm and pulled her outside on to the terrace, "What is your problem! All we are doing is trying to help you, don't you see that!"

"I think it'd be a lot easier if you weren't helping me!" She shouted back.

"So you'd be fine if I just left right now," Seth asked crossing his arms.

"I'd be more than fine," she said. It was a lie though. Quite an obvious lie.

"Really Sasha!? Who is the one who cooks your food, and picks out your outfits, and helps you find your way around, and cleans up for you, and holds you when your sad and upset! Huh!? I could go on over the thousands of things I do for you. I don't complain about them though because I love you. I do all of this because I love you. So for you to say that is completely unfair. I get it you feel suffocated and I can work on stepping back a bit. You just mean the world to me and I never want to lose you. Ever!"

Sasha felt the familiar feeling of warm tears stream down her face. He was right. He did everything for her. Everything. And what did she give him in return? Nothing.

Slowly, she pushed Seth out of the way and ran inside. She walked as fast as she could, only navigating the house based off memory. When she reached the stairs she bolted up them somehow and straight into the master bathroom.

She slammed the door shut and weakly fell to her knees sobbing. She couldn't breath or yell for help. She could only lean against the cabinets and cry.

She knew Seth would be up here in a few minutes. He usually gave her a few minutes to cool down before he had a panic attack himself and ran for her, just to make sure she was alright.

Sasha's stomach felt unsettled as she placed her hand over it. Throwing up was the last thing she needed right now.

But that stinging feeling of bile rose up her throat. Just in time she threw herself in front of the toilet and released what seemed like years of meals.

"Oh Merc, baby it's alright," Seth cooed dropping behind her and letting his hand trail up and down her small back. He used his other hand to gather her hair up so she wouldn't get anything in it. When she was finished he helped her clean up before carrying the weak girl back to bed.

"I'm sorry if I was too harsh earlier," he whispered, caressing her cheek. She shook her head.

"No I'm sorry for being a bitch. Can you tell Rebecca that I didn't mean anything I said, I don't know why, I just snapped I guess," she sighed. Seth nodded before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Do you still feel sick?" He asked, resting his hand on her stomach. She shook her head.

"No, I probably just worked myself up too much, that's all," she shrugged, "also I know Rebecca thinks I'm depressed or whatever. I'm fine, I promise."

"We'll see about that. Get some rest okay?"

Sasha nodded, pulling the blankets up passed her shoulders and moving her body into a more comfortable position. How a girl could sleep so much, Sasha didn't know. She just had a constant feeling of tiredness lately, her body felt weaker and worn out. It wasn't fair, all the problems she was having. She wished that god would take them all away.

Seth shut the lights, taking one last peek at Sasha before walking out of the room. He cleared things up with Rebecca who was completely understanding. Her and Max then left, knowing Sasha wasn't feeling well.

•••

dear diary,

im back after 833737 years. don't know how im still going. actually i do, seth. he is perfect. i haven't been feeling myself lately. im always tired and worn out. i've been like a hormonal teenager. i know this isn't normal but i really don't want something to be wrong. i can't have another problem in my life.
-mercedes :(

•••

a/n gonna be finishing this book up soon maybe idk. i feel like it's so new but i started it in may, that's just mind blowing to me. time is not my friend apparently.

also im literally not ok. i have somehow managed to get all a's my whole life. don't ask me i really don't know i don't even study or try really. things just come easy to me. BUT RN I HAVE A FUCKING C IN ENGLISH AND MY MOM IS GONNA BEAT MY ASS WHEN SHE FINDS OUT. it was fine for my brother to get d's and f's when he was in school but if i get anything below an a- i will probably be thrown out in the streets haha love my family :(

i got like 30's on my math tests last year but my teacher liked me so she let me redo them during class and basically give me the answers to get a 100 so my parents never found out. but ya know tomorrow power school opens and im dEAd.