2 ☆ I Don't Speak Croissant

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After that experience, I walked down the hallway, just minding my own business. But of course, that ended once this blonde boy greeted me. . .but not in the same language as mine.

"Enchanté! Je m'appelle Aoyoma Yuga. Ca va bien?"

As soon as I heard that, I started running.

"Excusez-moi! Comment tu t'appelles?" He started chasing me while interrogating me in French. "Vous parlez Anglais? Ahem. WHY ARE YOU RONIN'?"

I left skid marks in the hall due to how fast I was running.

"WAIT, MADOMOISELLE!!"

At some point, I panicked and hid in the janitor's closet. It was dark—much like my soul. But the cheap lightbulb switched on, yet I wasn't the one who did it. Once my eyes adjusted, I found myself standing face to face with this boy who had a Pikachu weave. His nose was nearly touching mine, and I could actually feel the heat of his cheeks radiating against my face.

"U-Uh, hey?" he broke the ice.

I couldn't believe it. I was standing right in front of another super-hot boy?? This school was loaded with them.

"H-Hello—" I stuttered coyly.

"You're (Y/N) (L/N), aren't cha?" he assumed, his tone now smooth.

"I think?? Uhm, what's your name?" I questioned. Man, he was so cute—but I almost had an asthma attack from his truckload of cheap cologne he slathered on.

"Denki Kaminari~"

In that moment, he began to lean in—but my oblivious self wasn't aware of it. So, I stopped his actions by continuing to talk. "Man, what is that smell?"

"Oh. It's just my cologne." He took out a bottle from his pocket and sprayed it in my face. That was illegal. "It's Pikachu cologne. I'm not sure if it works, but it seems that I—" In that very second, he knocked my feet out from under me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and swiftly dipped me. "Caught you~"

The door opened. That same boy with broccoli hair and a sweet baby face stared at us, except now, he looked scarred for life. Denki and I were just standing there in a freeze frame.

Denki pulled away. "Yo, bro. You didn't see anything." He did a peace sign before casually disappearing out of thin air.

Izuku turned to me. "Uhm, are you two a thi—"

"Wha? NONO! I just met him! I don't know what all that was about. . .hehe." I looked down at the ground in humiliation. Izuku only walk in with me, sat down, and began to eat a tube of cappuccino-flavored Pringles—probably because he was too young for actual caffeine.

🥐🥐🥐

After that, I got lost on my way to the next class. This school was humungous, I didn't know if I'd ever find the places I needed to be. Right now, I was heading toward the library from what I could tell. When I went inside, I found some students there, but they were studying and ignoring my existence. I thought I should ask the librarian for directions on where I had to be. When I headed in the way of her desk, I was unexpectedly kidnapped and pulled behind a shady bookshelf. Looking at the person who grabbed me, it was. . .boom boom boy?

"Wh—"

"Hush!" he quieted. "Now, did I ever give you my name?"

"Y—"

"I said shut up! My name is Katsuki Bakugou. Don't forget it."

"O—"

"Man, don't you ever shut the heck up? Anyway, I wanted to know how you cheated."

His expression was dead serious. He stared me down like Luigi's death stare. I hesitantly answered, "I-I didn't cheat. . .I swear."

"HACKS!!! I CALL HACKS—"

"SHHHHHH!!!" The librarian shushed him. Katsuki only made a face and continued with what he was saying.

"What's your Quirk? Cheating? Is it something we can't see!? Oi, answer me!"

"I don't wanna say!" I told him, on the brink of shedding tears. "I'm—I'm sorry! Please don't hate me."

"Hate you? Pfft. I hate Deku, not you." His expression was now poker-faced. What did he mean he didn't hate me? "However. . ." He did that cliché thing where the bad boy cornered the good girl against the wall. "I do demand an answer. And I won't leave without getting one."

So, I made like a Sanic, did a peace sign, and disappeared.

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Conveniently, I appeared in the correct class. Now that I think of it, I didn't have a good attitude last time when I was trying to make friends. So, I had to make a good impression this time. How I introduced myself affected how people saw me for the rest of the school year.

So, I walked in, stood on a desk, and spoke for everyone, "Waddup, skanks, the symbol of memes is here." I extended my arms and leisurely spun around—you know, something like Tony Stark would do.

Okay, maybe Tony Stark wasn't a good example this time around for making friends. However, it seemed to work—because Denki rose up and stood on another desk, only to start stomping his feet and clap. Before I knew it, half the class was using student's desktops as platforms to dance, cheer, or dab on. Someone's iPod was blaring 'You Spin Me Right Round' covered by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

"YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND, BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD, BABY, RIGHT ROUND, ROUND, ROUND!" chanted the class over and over. I leapt across to another desk, only for Eijiro to take my hand and twirl me around according to the song. I laughed in pure jubilation, as did he.

Katsuki was sitting at the desk we were both on, and of course, he had to push our legs out from under us. When this happened, Eijiro and I landed the floor—but fortunately, Mineta's small body broke our fall. Our weight squished him like the grape he is.

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After Mineta got sent to the hospital, I found myself exiting class. I was sure it was about lunch time now. However, I didn't have any money to afford food. Hopefully, it was free. When I yeeted to lunch, I say myself down at a lonesome table. And almost immediately, all the guys I met today scrambled to my table like a starving wolf to raw lettuce.

"Oi! Move aside, nerd!" shouted Katsuki as he pushed Izuku off his chair. Eijiro and Denki were fighting over the seat next to me, and Tenya only sat on the floor beside me, chewing ice. Though there was this one boy I didn't recognize. He had chin-length black hair and goofy grin.

"My name is Hanta Sero," he began calmly, while Katsuki was elbow-dropping Izuku in the background. "You're (Y/N) (L/N), eh?"

". . .Yes," I spoke reluctantly. It made me kind of embarrassed that everyone knew me.

Leaning over the table, Hanta stroked my cheek. I stiffened with awkwardness. When I stared at him, I actually saw pink sparkles surround his face. Everyone in the cafeteria stopped and looked our way cinematically. Hanta only fluttered his eyes shut before saying, "You had a piece of carrot on your face~"

"O-Oh, th-thank you," I mumbled, looking down.

Tenya asked, "How does a carrot manage to get on one's face—"

Hanta pulled his arm away and winked. "Well, I hope I see you again, (Y/N)~" Just as he fabulously walked away, Katsuki Naruto-ran up and elbow-dropped him.

Rip.

So, all these boys sat down with me at the table. I wasn't sure why they wanted to be around me so much. . .what was so special about plain ol' me? I was just a spawn of memes.

~~~

I have crippling osteoporosis

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