don't hold on | rick grimes, twd

19

it's been a day since we lost lori and the others, and everyone wasn't the same. me and daryl did a quick supply run for the new baby, and she was fine. rick on the other hand, went into the cellblock with an axe and disappeared. and i think i new exactly where to find him.

with a new clean shirt for rick hung over my shoulder and a bowl with a rag in clean water, i walked down the creepy, gory halls of the deeper cellblock. as i made my way down i continuously had to step over dead walkers, looks like someone was busy.

ever since lori, and t-dog, the void of sadness never left. i mean—we all became family over the months, we were all so close, we knew each other so well. and having no deaths or problems for awhile, until one occurs, hits you hard.

i wanna cry, and scream, but i know i can't. i have lola, carl, the baby, and the others to think about. i can't be some weak, grieving woman when others need me to be strong.

finally, i had reached the room where lori had to give birth, and, where she died..as i step inside the room i'm hit with the smell of dead. i cringe, please don't tell me it's her. as i carefully made my way down the steps i saw lori's body was gone. huh.

when i turned the corner i saw rick sitting at a desk, staring at a, telephone? "hey." i tell rick as i place down the metal bowl filled with clean water, along with his flannel. "all of us are about to have breakfast, you should swing by, see us all. see her."

rick slowly turned his head in my direction, dry blood was spattered all over his face, "it's a uh—a girl?"

i chuckle with a nod, "yeah rick. it's a girl. she's beautiful."

rick stared at me for a couple seconds before nodding, slowly turning his gaze back to a telephone that for some reason he was so interested in.

i sighed, bending down in front of rick, crossing my hands together, "rick, i know how you feel. when—when i lost shane, i thought i was never gonna get over it. that i was just gonna grieve and grieve and grieve and never stop, but i eventually did, because i realized i have to stay strong for the group, and for lola's as time passes, you start to think of them less often. and it's normal, especially for us since it's survival of the fittest."

i pause, placing a shoulder at rick, which makes him turn his gaze towards me, "we are here rick, and we aren't going anywhere. you have carl, you have daryl, you have me, you have us all. slowly—just slowly, pick up the pieces."

rick stared at me again for a couple seconds before slowly nodding, looking back ahead of him, "i'll be out in a minute, nik."

i smile and pat his shoulder before standing up, "now that's the spirit."

rick didn't join us for breakfast, i hoped he would but that turned sideways. he just went back into the boiler room, i think hershel talked some sense into him.

me, carl, lola, beth, hershel, and karleen were all in the small cafeteria next to the cell block. i was teaching beth how to squash the nuts in the pot with a churn. she was doing well.

i heard slow footsteps come closer and closer all the sudden, and when i looked up, i saw rick, who slowly pushed open the gate to come inside. "well well well." i taunt with a smile, "look who finally decided to come out of their man cave."

he just chuckled, but abruptly stopped when he suddenly saw hershel carrying his newborn. rick slowly walks towards her, i could tell he hadn't held a baby since carl. slowly and gently, rick took the baby out of hershel's arms. immediately, i could see the love in his eyes when he looked at her.

rick chuckled with happiness, bringing his daughter closer as she gurgled. my heart started to suddenly beat fast, i don't know why,  but seeing what i was seeing, made me burst with joy, even after everything that was going on.

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!gif is of nikki talking to rick!