One For The Road

16: Chances

After a quick chat with my agent, it was pretty clear that I was the favorite for the fan All-Star vote. Maybe they felt bad for me, but I liked to think that they all liked my bold personality. And if they didn't actually like me and it was in fact pity, I didn't give a shit. A chance was a chance.

The All-Star festivities would take place in Charlotte, North Carolina over the weekend, and it wasn't just a race. There were concerts, autographs, tailgating, and most importantly for me, networking. The way I left NASCAR gave a lot of team owners questions about me. Hopefully I could give them a few answers.

The only problem was that there was a robot-fighting tournament in Chicago that same weekend. But a million dollars could keep Sacrilege going even after I left the team. It was the least I could do for them, anyway.

I took a seat at the kitchen table as Annie fussed over dinner. I usually liked to help her, even though I wasn't any good at cooking.

When I lived close to Griffin in Baton Rouge, he cooked for me a lot (even if it was all healthy bullshit), and I kept his house clean enough to be presentable and relatively un-disgusting. I frowned. Every second I wasn't his teammate, I strayed a little closer to insanity.

But soon I'd be back in a car, and even though I wouldn't be driving for RTR, we would finally be driving the same track once again.

"You know, if I hurry, I might be able to finish your suit before the next tournament. You'll be the only one wearing one, since I definitely can't get the other two done, but you'll look the cutest in it anyway," Annie said.

"You don't have to stress out about that. I know there's so much other shit that needs to be taken care of before that," I said.

Annie chuckled, but she didn't smile. "You're telling me. God, all I want is to be able to work on something that I actually like to do, but there's no time. My mural in the garage still needs finished too, and I just can't find a minute to do anything besides," she paused, "work."

"The only other option is to turn what you love into work, and trust me, that sucks too. I thought being a racecar driver was all fun and games, but it's cruel, and there's not a single fucking guarantee in that world."

Annie shook her head. "Well, that sounds much more appealing than having the guarantee of nothing ever changing."

I didn't reply to that for a minute. Maybe she was right, and if I kept myself in the robot-fighting arena, how the hell would I ever get out? Did the road of life just dead-end here?

"So if you could do anything, what would it be?" I asked.

Annie hesitated. "I don't know, I probably wouldn't change anything. I'm happy with Josiah."

Considering I hadn't mentioned anything about that douchebag, it certainly seemed like I had found the problem.

"If Josiah didn't exist, is this where you would want to be?" I asked.

Annie shook her head. "You can't ask questions like that. He does exist, and I wouldn't have even known about any of this without him."

So that was a no.

I stood up from the kitchen table. "You like art and design, don't you?"

Annie nodded as I finally stood next to her.

"I've spent my entire life destroying, Annie. I crashed cars into walls and other cars, and I only got pissed because it meant I couldn't win anymore. I beat the shit out of a robot, and I got the shit beat out of me. But you see something that's not there and create, and that means so much more than destruction," I said.