5SOS Book of Imagines

AFI // Broken (2)

ASHTON'S POV

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I wanted to bang my head against the wall beside me as I sat in the pub, drinking the misery out of myself.

Why can't I tell her how I feel? She's there, sick to her bones and of all the times I could mess up, it had to be that time.

I was just too scared, okay? We're close friends, bestfriends even. But I'm afraid that I'll never be good enough for her. She's hanging out with me because she wants someone to talk to after breaking up with Luke.

This was always what I am to her, a fallback. I don't blame her though, it was partly my fault. If I just wasn't the coward that I am, I won't even let Luke get her.

But I can't. She loves Luke. I can see the glimmer, the sparkle in her eyes while looking at him and it breaks me every fucking time.

And Luke dumped her. I had to muster all the strength I had in me not to strangle him right there and then. He had my whole world in his hands, but he chose to crush her. Now she's broken.

The only consolation I had is that she's hanging out with me again. That she's talking to me again, unlike when she was with Luke. She almost ignores me on a daily basis for fear that Luke might get jealous. Ends up, Luke was the cheater.

I had to be her friend, and her friend only. Because it's too much of a risk for me to lose her. And I can't put that on the line.

Besides, I don't want her to think that I'm taking advantage of her vulnerability.

"Well, friends have to look out for each other, right?"

I should've known that after saying that, stuff aren't going to end well.

These days she's been giving me weird looks, she's been extra close but sometimes I still see her cry because of Luke. I don't know what to do, is there a chance that she likes me back?

I had that moment of confusion and blurted out what I think I had to say.

That we're friends.

Clearly, that wasn't what she thought.

I should be happy, at least, I was able to dig up a part of her heart and make it see me, love me.

But right now, I'm feeling miserable, worried as fuck to what might happen to her, I never really got her to take her medicine.

Who knows what she's doing right now. But I know I had to keep my distance for a while, knowing her wrath, it's gonna stay for a few days.

I sighed in frustration, taking a sip of the drink in my hands.

I winced as the liquid snaked its way to my stomach.

*ring*

I lazily answered the phone, "Hey."

"Ash? Don't tell me you're drunk."

"I'm not," I slurred, "What's up, Mike?"

"Come here at my house, I told you I'm having a party, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't wanna go there."

"You'll want to. Y/N just cam and crashed into the party."

I tightened my grip on my phone and almost shouted, "WHAT?"

"And you'll never guess who she's with," he dragged making me wait in impatience, "Hood. The notorious playboy Calum Thomas Hood."

NO.

I jammed my phone back to my pocket after hanging up and dashed out the pub.