𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝜊𝑛²

but what is he supposed to do?

//You//
I must be lying, staring at the ceiling and trying to stop myself from having a panic attack for all most an hour falling in and out of a shallow sleep before I hear the distant humming of the TV turn off and someone stand, footsteps coming toward the room. I quickly shut my eyes, placing the phone I was squeezing to my chest face down onto the bedside table.

"Y/n?" His voice is soft, almost caring, "you asleep?"

I don't respond, keeping my eyes shut and trying to control my breathing.

"Thank God." I hear him mutter under his breath. I nearly burst out crying right there, the tip of my nose tingling irritatingly as the hard to swallow feeling in my throat runs up into my cheeks, causing my eyes to nearly flicker open. I try not to hold my breath as he slips into bed behind me and I struggle not to push him off as his arm wraps around my waist.

I can't cry over him, not over some stupid comment, I can't, but I can't swallow either with this tightening lump in my throat - I can barely breathe.

There's still a decent chance I'm just being dramatic right? There's still a chance he's not faking this whole thing?
I don't realise I'm crying until my pillow feels damp and weirdly warm, I can't hold back a sniffle - I probably could, if I had more self-control.

"Y/n?"

I stay silent.

"Y/n?" He pulls away from me and rests a hand on my shoulder forcing me to roll over onto my back. "What's wrong with you?" He sounds more annoyed than concerned. His face scrunched up, looking scarier than usual in the dark. His eyes bore into mine, though I can barely read his expression through my tear-locked lashes.

"N-nothing." I stammer, well done y/n, you couldn't even say that right. Idiot. Absolute idiot. Jesus.

He sits up, cross-legged and he pulls at my arm, trying to force me to do the same, I tug my arm from his grasp, instead rolling back over onto my side so I'm no longer facing him.

"Is this because of me?" He fails at keeping his annoyance from seeping through as he speaks.

I feel a sob build up inside me, the burning feeling my nose becoming insufferable as my vision burns completely. I try to shake my head as my breaths come out staggered and sharp. I feel useless, helpless, I need Kevin to calm me down. I don't deserve Kevin anyway. He's probably glad I'm gone. He probably hated me really.

"Then why won't you even fucking look at me?" He's angry, he got angry fast, just go to sleep, please.

"Craig I-I-" another sob shakes through me, causing me to cry harder as I wrap my arms around myself for comfort. What's wrong with me? This isn't going to help. Grow up. Grow up. You're pathetic.

"Tell me why you're crying y/n," he pauses "Do you miss your precious little boyfriend?" My heart stops, Kevin? He remembers, he 100% remembers. It was an act, a fucking act, I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.

"W-what?" I somehow manage to get out, my body stiffening. What the fuck do I do?

"You heard me."

"I thou- I thought you couldn't r-remember." I'm shaking, and I need to leave, I need to run, but I can't move. I can't look at him, my body feels numb. Kevin, please, I need you.

"I needed you back. And we both know you think you're too good for me, you stuck up bitch. That Irish bastard though? All he had to do was cry about me giving him a little shove and you were in his arms. Because you're so desperate to feel like you have a fucking purpose you jump at the chance to help people. It's fucking pathetic, y/n, you're fucking pathetic, but I knew it would work." He hisses, leaning over me slightly more than I feel comfortable with. Not as if I'd be more comfortable if he was on the other side of the room.

"W-why?" I eye my phone, but what could I do? He's right there.

"Because I missed you, and I couldn't let someone else have what belonged to me,"

"You- you cheated on me!"

"So?" He grabs my shoulder again, a lot firmer this time as he turns me, his calloused hands no doubt leaving marks on my skin. He's above me, snarling like a wild animal. "I'll be honest, part of me just wanted to see you sobbing and panicking like this, so pathetic, so helpless, no lanky Irish bastard to jump to your rescue. You're cute when you're struggling to breathe, have ever told you that?"

I try to ignore the wave of nausea hits me and I turn my head because it's all I can manage to do.

I hear him laugh to himself before he roughly grabs my jaw, forcing me to face him, "you think that guy ever liked you anyway? You've seen yourself right? He was just using you, because that's what you're made for, to be used, I bet he told you he loved you huh? Do you really think he meant it?"

I can't breathe. I can't- I can't, I can't- he's right. Kevin's so special, so good, he deserves better, I bet I'm nothing to him. I bet he doesn't even care.

"Answer me," he snaps, practically spitting in my face as his grasp on my jaw stays firm.

"N-no." I stammer.

"No, what y/n?"

"No, he- he doesn't really love me."

The smirk that spreads across his face hits me like a punch to the gut, what's happening? I need to go. I need- I need Kevin. He loves me, I know he does.

//Kevin//
I must be lying, staring at the ceiling and trying to stop myself from having a panic attack for all most an hour, failing to push myself up every so often, the flashing of my phone which I can barely see casting over the edge of the desk as I push my back up against the nearest wall is like torture. What if she was in trouble? She could be fucking dead or something by now, and it'd be all my fault.

I lean my back against the wall, stretching my legs out across the floor to try battle the numb feeling spreading through them. Fuck it. I, using the wall for support, push my self up, ignoring the searing pain through my shoulder as I press it up against the wall.
My legs wobble beneath me and the world briefly turns entirely black but I manage to catch myself, my hand clutching the side of the desk for support as I steady myself. I take deep breaths, hoping my heart rate will begin to slow as my free hand lunges for my phone.
My eyes blur as the screen lights up and the second wave of dizziness hits me, I catch myself.

Lifeline: Kevin I'm scared. I think you were right about this all being too convenient. || 11:03pm

Lifeline: Kevin?||11:14pm

Lifeline: please answer, I don't know what to do|| 11:15 pm

My breath catches in my throat as I check the time, it's 12:36 am now. She could be in trouble. Shit. What do I do? Do I call the police? I don't actually know if she's in any danger. They probably wouldn't even take me seriously, I'm still drunk and she went with him of her own accord. They'll think I'm just jealous. Fuck. What do I do? Do I call her? What if he sees? What if he answers? What if she needs me.

I call.

A/n~ yo what the fuck did I just write?
Is this a n g s t ? :0 in this fic? No, surely not!?

I'd like to thank Starr_Collector because I thought I already had but apparently not, anyway they are really cool & supportive and vote on everything so :))