The Last Love Letter

Chapter 27

Akash's arrival had thrown Subah out of gear. She was no longer the committed woman working on a deadline. A major distraction was staring at her now.

With his casual jeans, jacket worn over a white T-shirt and unshaven face, Akash made something stir in her stomach. He was an extraordinarily handsome man, not in a bookish way but in the way he walked and looked at her. Like now. She had no clue how to ensure that he didn’t read her feelings.

‘It is beautiful,’ he said a second time.

‘Thank you, Akash.’ That voice didn’t belong to her. She had become someone else again.

‘Well, the pictures first, I guess.’

‘Sure, can you help me, please? We need to take them outside if we are to take pictures in natural light.’ She turned to look for the paintings she wanted photographed, and that helped her regain her composure. It took her just a minute to decide. ‘These three.’

The works were large, and the two of them carried them outside one by one. Throughout, she avoided eye contact with him. She could hear him breathing, smell some of the cologne he must have used in the morning, but kept her eyes fixed on the paintings.

Finally, the paintings were arranged side by side outside, and Akash went to work with his SLR camera. The natural light outside was good. Subah waited at a little distance away, watching him work, moments of what she had experienced when they had carried the paintings together still trapped in her mind.

‘The theme is the future of the rainbow. That’s: Future. Of. The. Rainbow.’

‘Okay, got it. Future of the rainbow.’

‘Yes. What do you think?’

‘About the theme?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, I like the images it conjures up in my mind. I also liked the last theme, “Alone to the Moon and Back”.’

After they had finished their tea, which Bala had brought up to the terrace along with a plate of biscuits, Subah explained the theme in more detail, and Akash made notes as she spoke. She was moved by his sincerity. They had so far only spoken about work. Later, when silence fell between them, he was quickly up on his feet, ready to go.

‘If we’re done here, I won’t keep you from your work. I guess I should be going now.’

Even though it was time for him to go, Subah wanted him to stay and chat with her a while longer. ‘I won’t be working for the next couple of hours. In fact, I was wondering how best to use this break.’

‘Well, you could…I’m not sure what you like to do.’

‘I think we should spend some more time together so you can get to know me better. It will help with the campaign.’

‘Right, but—’

‘Unless, of course, you’re busy.’

‘No, I’m not that busy, but I really ought to head back.’

She looked at him and felt the same sway in her head that she had experienced earlier. There was something in the way he looked at her. Or was she just hallucinating? What was happening to her? She should probably just let him go.
The vision hit her again, the images all jumbled up. In the vision, they were together in some ancient time, a thousand years ago or more.

‘Okay, maybe a coffee.’

It was at that moment that she realized she was holding his hand. ‘I’m sorry.’ She pulled her hand back.

‘Subah, you’re working too hard.’ It was all he said, and she believed him. She wanted to get rid of her own thoughts, the images floating in her mind. Today, she wanted to believe other people, not herself.

They had reached the living room, and Bala was looking at them. ‘Sir, you are right, she hardly sleeps these days. In the daytime, she’s in her new office, and at night, she paints. I have no idea if she’s slept at all this week.’

Subah stared at Bala, who stared back, not dropping her eyes. She knew she was right, and it was Subah who had given her the confidence to voice her opinion. ‘Okay, sorry everyone. I promise I will take better care of myself.’ Subah raised her hands.

‘I’ll wait here, and we can leave as soon as you’re ready.’ Akash looked first at Bala and then at Subah.

Subah dashed into the bedroom and closed the door. Without realizing it, she began to cry. It was very uncharacteristic of her, and only when the first teardrop slithered across her face and fell on her hand did she realize what she was doing.

What was happening to her? Was it really because she was overworked and tired, or was it because of her feelings for Akash?

Her inner voice whispered, with what she thought bordered on sarcasm: Get up and go with him now. That is what you wanted, isn’t it?

She ignored it.

It was very difficult to decide what to wear. Part of her wanted to dress well, to feel beautiful; and the other part wanted her to stick to her usual conservative apparel. She waited for the inner voice to make a suggestion, but nothing came. Finally, she put on a pair of jeans and a short jacket over a simple shirt. The only difference from her usual look was that this time, she freed her hair and shook her head before combing through the shoulder-length curls.

Fifteen minutes later, they were seated at a café in DLF Promenade, not far from her home. It had taken them just five minutes in Akash’s car. Both sipped coffee, and since they had already discussed work at her place, as soon as they finished talking about the weather, there was nothing left to say. As companions in a coffee shop, the two of them didn’t know which way to steer the conversation.

This time, Subah took the lead. ‘So tell me, what do you do when you’re not working?’

‘Well, I like to hang out with friends sometimes or read a book.’

‘Movies?’

‘Not really. What about you?’

‘I like movies. But I love reading too. So, since reading is our common interest, why don’t we discuss that? Your favourite books?’

‘I like thrillers. They’re very much like life at the moment, only more intense. You?’

‘Well, I like literary fiction.’

‘That makes sense. From what I know, literary fiction mimics real life; it’s not an escape, like, say, romance. Am I right?’

‘Yes.’

Akash thought about Rohit. ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ It was unlike Akash to ask such a personal question, but not knowing what else to say, it appeared to be a good direction to take. Soon, when Rohit and Subah revealed it officially, he would wink and whisper that he knew all along.

‘No.’

‘Really? I thought you did. I might even know…’

‘I really don’t have a boyfriend. I did have one once, and…’

‘And?’

What was she doing? Why did she have to go and say that? Subah was angry with herself. She looked at Akash. He looked back at her, and their gaze held, for a few heartbeats longer before she said, ‘And nothing.’

‘Are you all right?’

She looked away, turned to look back at him, and smiled, ‘Yes, I am.’ Then, after a pause, she added, ‘The trouble is I remember more than I can forget.’