STOP ME WHEN YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH

Oh, This Thing

"Interesting," he mumbles, lingering at the barrier for a moment longer.

"What is?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Tell us, dammit!" The girl yells.

"Don't be a hypocrite," Ichigo scolds.

"What!"

"Shut up, Hiyori," the blond leader glares.

So Hiyori is the girl. Hachi is the big guy. Who are the rest?

"I'm going to guess you know who I am," Ichigo starts.

"We do," the leader nods.

"How is that, exactly?"

"We could sense your Hollow. After that, we came to investigate you."

"So you stalked me," the ginger deadpans. Kisuke obviously told them about him, but he'll play dumb. "More weirdos I don't need. Awesome."

"Hey, watch how you talk to us," a white haired guy glares.

"I'll talk how I want. Or, what, you're gonna beat me, Kidnapper-san?"

"Now wait a minute-"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not about this. Can you just let me go, and we'll never speak of this ever again?"

"Let you go?" They quirk their eyebrows.

"Yeah. I'm already sick of you, and you clearly think I'm some moron. So how about we all save ourselves from the pain of the other's existence and you let me go."

"You're joking," the bespectacled girl blinks.

"Not at all."

"We aren't lettin' you leave!" Hiyori exclaims.

"Why?"

"Ichigo," the leader starts. "Do you know about your Hollow?"

Ichigo gapes. That's what this is about? They want him to join their cult? Oh, fuck that.

"You mean Shiro? What about him?" He plays dumb some more.

"You named your Hollow?" Another blond questions.

"Well, he liked to scream he had no name everytime it was mentioned and I got annoyed. So yes, I named the Hollow," Ichigo responds dryly. "But your point is needed."

"We want to help you control it. To keep it locked up, and to prevent yourself from becoming a Hollow."

That sales pitch was awful.

"No?"

"Was that a question?"

"What do you mean no?" Hiyori shouts.

"I don't want your help. I'm good - really."

"Of course you want our help!" The other blond states.

"You're just like us. Hollow and Shinigami," a brunet with sunglasses adds.

Am not, he thinks.

It's clear there is no arguing with these people. He just starts to go along with their bullshit. He's in his body, hence the requirements of food and sleep. He sleeps as much as possible, but he doesn't eat the food.

"Come on. You gotta keep your strength up," the leader, his name is Shinji, persuades.

"Why?"

And he never answers: what a surprise. After about three days of sleeping around on the same stiff couch, someone shows up. About damn time, too.