Andy's Plan

Chapter 23

Tick...tock.

Hands of the clock which ticked dangerously by each second, seemed frozen on that one particular time I wished I could go back to – to undo the ultimate careless mistake of my life.

Tick...tock. Tick...tock.

I ran out of precious time. One measured tick of a clock and everything that mattered was pulled swiftly out of my life...out of my grasp.

.

.

.

Shaking starchy-white hands gripped the large daunting steel gate and pushed open, low painful grunts escaped my trembling lips, my whole body shook with tremors as icy rain unremittingly poured down. A lungful of misty air wasn’t enough for my constricted lungs so I tried for another...and another one.

Inhale...

Exhale...

Peering heavy-laden eyes at the sight before me, cold shivers ran down my spine, goose bumps trailed along the exposed skin intensified by the roaring wind flapping the leaves of nearby oak trees. Rows and columns of bricks and stones lined the pathway were mocking me, heavy fogs obscuring my visions – my ultimate nightmare – as the scene laid out was more like a rip-off from that horror movie I braved to watch. Bracing myself, I sucked in a deep breath as ripples of shiver nearly made me crumple down. Holding tight to the nearest sculpted stone, I willed my legs to move despite the fact that they were nearing to fail me.

Inhale...

This was my nightmare but I wasn’t afraid...I wasn’t scared. In fact, I felt nothing.

Exhale...

Forcing my heavy feet forward, water sloshing out the side of my squeaky wet boots; it was a deathly effort, moving forward in a stoic purpose, never taking in the eerie surroundings. For all I knew, I was only moving forward, walking down the middle of the darkened unfathomable hole.

Patter. Patter.

The early afternoon felt like midnight as I glanced upward at the pitch-black sky, crying, roaring out for me. Letting go of the umbrella, I’d let heavy rains washed over me, carrying with them the grimes life had thrown at me.

Patter. Patter.

I was in an endless void.

I felt the numbness seeping through every pores of my body; the coldness didn’t bother me anymore though. It was okay, it was welcomed as I was akin to being frozen anyway.

It felt like years but mere minutes passed by in actuality, until I reached that dreaded place, in the murky corner of the path my feet led me.

Inhale...

Why did life have to be so cruel?

Exhale...

This was so unfair – I only asked and wished for one thing – why was it so hard to have?

I was livid...I was livid with life and with everything. I closed my fist tightly, my knuckles turning white as warm tears flooded my face.

Patter. Patter.

Cold splatters of rain were drenching down my whole being – but I didn’t care – I was cold already from inside out.

“Why did life have to be so cruel?” I screamed hard.

I didn’t care if I was raging mad.

I didn’t care if the storm was raging mad.