But Now We're Stressed Out

You will be found

I've never shown anyone this place before.  But I trust Emile enough to share it with him. 

I parked my motorcycle in the parking lot and helped Emile off.  I pulled an old blanket out of the little compartment. I grabbed Emile's hand and started walking towards the path into the forest. 

"Is it safe to be going into the woods this late at night?"  Emile asked, glancing towards the setting sun. 

"Don't worry babes,"  I told him, peeking a kiss on his cheek.  "I won't let anything happen to you."

Emile smiled softly but didn't say anything else.  Though I did notice his worried expression growing as we went off the path and started heading up a steep hill

"Woah,"  Emile breathed once we reach the top of the rocks.  The sun setting had lit up the tops of the trees.  You could see almost the entire forest from this vantage point.

The sound of the river flowing through some rapids below the overhang lifted up to where we were standing. 

"This place is beautiful,"  Emile said with a small smile. 

"Not as beautiful as you,"  I murmured, wrapping my arms around his waist.  Emile flushed a bright red.

I placed the blanket on the ground before sitting on it. I motioned for Emile to come sit with me.

Emile curled up against me and we watched the sun set together.  I let my mind wander again.

Why does Emile like me?  I'm such a fuck up.  A bad person. 

He's so nice and caring and perfect.  And I'm not. 

This led to thoughts of Emile's home life.  A life I wish had.  The life that I craved.  The acceptance from family.  The care and genuine love. 

I couldn't help but compare it to my home life.  An unloving mother that would leave me alone when I was younger to fend for myself.  Who got wasted and high almost every night.  Who forced all her own insecurities onto me.  Where there was never any certainty when or what the next meal was going to be. 

"Remy...you're crying,"  Emile said, brushing a tear off my cheek.  I looked over at him, only just now feeling the tears slowly falling down my cheeks.

"What's wrong?"  He asked gently.  That gentle look in his eyes.  The look that held so much love and comfort.  The soft brown eyes with so much compassion and happiness in them.

The same eyes I fell for three years ago when I first met Emile.

"Why do you like me?"  I asked, my voice cracking as the tears only increased. 

Emile frowned, his eyes filling with sadness.  He leaned over and kissed me deeply.  I could feel the love behind the kiss.

"Remy, I love you,"  Emile told me.  "You mean so much to me.  There's a thousand reasons as to why I love you." 

"But why,"  I choked out, feeling all my walls crumbling down.  I let the mask fall away.  The mask that portrayed a sassy, confident, gay, carefree, bad boy.  And let the real me in; a terrified, hurt, sad, boy.