In This Lifetime

20. I Promise

His expression completely changed as soon as the words left my mouth.

I quickly backed away from him when I realized what I did.

I was so stupid.

I told myself to take it slow. To not mess things up again. But look what I did, completely and utterly mess it up.

I looked up to see his expression. He still looked dumbstruck.

I knew it.

He didn't even have to tell me.

My words left him speechless because he obviously didn't feel the same way.

God, I'm so so stupid.

I mean, how could he towards someone like me. I was the fool for thinking just because he buys me treats, takes me out, spends time with me and holds me warmly could possibly mean this is love.

"It's okay that you don't feel the same way. I-I just..." I quickly grabbed my bag and abruptly stood up, "I'm going to go. Don't follow me." I said before rushing out the door.

I couldn't sit there any longer. How could I sit there and wait for him to tell me he's sorry and that he doesn't love me the way I love him. That'd just hurt too much.

I was a coward, but I don't care.

I ran down the street with no destination in mind. I just needed to get as far away from him as possible right now. If I sat there for a second longer I felt like my heart would really shatter into a million pieces.

Tired from running I found an empty alley and stood on the side to rest.

I heard my phone ringing in my bag so I rummaged around trying to find it.

Liwei

I immediately canceled the call.

My screen flashed 4 missed calls and 2 text messages.

All from Liwei.

Xiaofan, where are you?

Call me.

My phone rings again. Cancel.

Why was he being like this?

My mind flashed back to his face when he heard me tell him I loved him.

I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it. How embarrassing.

I knew it was all too good to be true.

My phone starting ringing once again. Before I went to click cancel again, I heard his voice nearby, "Chen Xiaofan! Xiaofan! Xiaofan, where are you?" Liwei shouted.

I held my breath. Why? Why? Why?!

Liwei must've followed the sound of the phone ringing because before I could take another breath he was standing right there in front of me.

"Damn it, finally."

He was out of breath. His hair was all over the place and I could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

He looked absolutely distraught. I looked at him terrified. Why was he here?

I looked to my side trying to find a path to make a run for it, but as if he read my mind he quickly pushed me back against the brick wall.

He glanced at me with a look of death. "Xiaofan, don't even think about it."

His hands were on both sides locking me in. His right leg was in between mine while his body was pressed close against me, trapping me in.