Visitors [bnha reader insert][gender neutral] -COMPLETED-

Part thirty five [a misunderstanding]

Your upper body jolted upwards ,eyes immidietley snapping open with a quiet yelp escaping your quivering chapped lips.

"They're awake!" You heard someones concern voice  as you tightly gripped strands of your hair in between your fingers and hunched over ,dizziness blurring your vision.

Your classmates yells reached your ears once you felt a soft warm hand on your shoulder "Are you okay?!" It was Midoria ,that shaky tender voice was too recogniazable.

"W-What…" you mumbled ,your fuzzy eye sight sharpening a little making you noticed the many people standing around you.

"Hey shit face ,what the hell happened!?" You turned your head towards the spikey blonde ,his face was showing anger but also a drop of fear and concern.

"What are you.. talking about.. Kacchan…?" You breathed out groggily.

Before Katsuki could say anything Kirishima swooped infront of him "You were laying unconcius in the kitchen!" The red head stated with worry.

"In the kitchen…? What was i doing in the kitchen?" You murmured ,your half lidded eyes looking back at  Eijiro with confusion.

"You dont remember?" He asked with a schocked expression.

You cupped your forehead with your palm and took in a shaky breath "What.. was i doing…." A small memory crept up inside your mind and yet it was enough to make all color drain from your face as your eyes widdened in pure terror. The sound of shattering filled your ears as if the echo of it was still howling in your brain ,the emotional impact of the incident that played out just a few hours ago carved itself into your mind to the point of pain.

"Oh my god…" you wheezed out bringing your legs closer to your body ,your face expresssing pure fear and dysbelive.

"Hey ,what's going on ,what happened!?" Bakugo pushed past the red head before gripping both your shoulders ,trying to make you look up at him. "Dammit loser just say what went down!!"

"Kacchan ,calm down!" Midoria tried to push his childhood friend off of you but his grip on your body was strong and firm.

"Get the fuck out of my way nerd!!! Cant you see i'm trying to be nice for once!?" He yelled back with a deep scowl on his face.

"Bakugo this is not how you make people feel better." Iida shouted from the back of the croud ,gesturing wildly.

"I-I…" you stuttered ,tears gathering at the edges of your vision "I can see things…i can see things ,these monsters. They have weird shapes and are pale and they make weird sounds and i used to be so scared of them-" you abrudly stood up on top of the couch ,looking down at all your classmates with cold tears streaming down your face. "B-But i'm over it ,i'm not scared anymore-" you got out of breath halfway through the sentance ,your classmates looked up at you with faces twisted in schock ,a thick silence drowning the room.

"W-What…?" Kaminari raised his eyebrows.

"I-I think…" Midoria stared back at your shaking form "I think you hit your head a little too hard."

The look you gave Deku after he uttered those words was a mixture of pure dysbelive and cold unleashed rage.

The green eyed male shuttered under your gaze ,your classmates looking around at eachother in confusion and fear.

"I…hit my head too hard…?" You breathed out ,your palms cleanching into tight fists. "Why would you say something cruel like that Izuku…?"

"Loser what the fuck is going on with you!?" Bakugo yelled but you could see hesitasion glistening in his red wine eyes.

Something inside of you finally snapped.

"THEY'RE DEAD!!" You yelled in pure rage making the group of teens stare at you with widden in schock eyes "DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL??! I LOVED THEM!!"

"I FELT LIKE I WAS FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE AND THEN GOD JUST TAKES IT ALL AWAY FROM ME!!" you cried out ,your pained words shattering against the thick atmosphere like pieces of glass.

"WHY IS MY WHOLE LIFE CRUMBLING TO PIECES LIKE THAT!!?? WHAD DID I DO!!??" you shut your eyes tightly ,stars dancing across your vision from the pressure.

"Please calm down!" Ochako stepped forward but you snapped your gaze towards her making the female flinch back.

"YOU'RE ALL ACTING AS IF IM CRAZY-" you vented ,tears glistening across your skin as your body jittered "BUT IM NOT ,I SAW THEM DIE BEFORE ME!!" Gripping your hair you let out a sharp painfull wheeze "YOURE ALL YOurE all…you're all the same. Those children in the kindergarden ,those adults…no one takes my seriusly."

"Maybe…m-maybe we should call recovery girl…so she can check if everything is okay…" Yaorozu suggested with a small forced smile ,she tried to defuze the sytuasion a little but those words only made feel worse.

"Get out…" you wheezed under your breath yet the silence made it easily heardable for the entire class.

"What…?" Midoria fluttered his eyelashes.

"J-Just go away i dont want to see you…i thought you're diffrend..." You smudged your tears across the reddend skin of your face. "Pearl…Vanilla
...why.." you let out a strangled sob ,the emotional pain was excruciating ,like someone was cutting open your heart and throat with old rusty sizzors.

A pair of rough hands caught both of your arms ,Katsuki stared up at you with a geniuenly worried expression ,a one that did not show the usually annoyence. If it werent for the burst of emotion raveging your mind you might have been suprized seeing him so vulnerabe.

"Let go of me stupid." You weakly protested ,wiggling yourself out the blondes grip before stepping down back onto the ground.

No one was daring to say a thing as they looked at your tear strained face and pained expression ,Midoria for a second looked like he was about to reach out to you but you pushed out of the crowd of teens before he could do so.

Ignoting the distant yelling coming from the living room you walked up the stairs and into your doorm room ,closing the door you slid down the wooden entry and onto the ground with a heavy thud.

"Pearl... Vanilla?" You called out to the empty space where just few days ago you talked to the two monsters.

Only silence called out back to you.

"What happened to you…are you really…" you bit your bottom lip before you could finish the sentance ,your heart was protesting loudly ,not wanting to accept it.

You let out a strangled sob before bringing your kness closer to you and envelloping your shaking arms around them ,your own body shielding you from the darkness that coated the room.

Inhailing sharply through your teeth you let the last bits of your cold demeanor crumble into pieces as you started weeping loudly ,the crys shaking your entire frame and cold tears running down your neck and chin.

In one of the old wooden shelfes a stack of drawings was carefully put at the very back ,with each paper  allined into a neat pile.

They were mostly drawings of the same small family of three ,a tall white creature a single human and a tiny monster with neon eyes.

They were not the best pieces of art ,the lines were shaky and uneaven with messy smudges of diffrend colors painting the edges of the paper like somebody unintentionally dragged their hand across it.

But they were all smiling.

In every picture.

Letting out a shaky breath you let the darkness slowly put you to sleep ,like the  hand of a loving mother trying to calm down its weeping child.

It was hard to describe what you were feeling since that emotion was long forgotten ,molded and reashaped into something diffrend.

Like an ugly childhood memory  that we drown  in nostalgia convincing ourselfes that it was infact sweet and not bitter.

Loneliness.

Guys i think i found out who was hurting me all this time.

*points at myself*