Dazed and Addled [BxB]

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"I want more" he whispered but he pushed me away and was shaking his head talking to himself he was looking at me like I'm disgusting even though he was the one who started it and I felt sad plus angry so I picked up my wallet and phone and left the room slamming the door. As I started walking down stairs deep down I was hoping for him to come and hug me from behind, I was walking very slowly but still there was no sign of him I was feeling really stupid for loving him. I wend to a shop and brought a packet of cigarette and headed towards the room.
       As I enter the room I felt like no one was there so I sat on my bed lighting a cigarette and started to smoke while thinking about what all happened today. I kept smoking one after another till I felt like it was getting hard to smoke so I though I should stop and I started to listen to gnash's song from 'we' album cause that's what I do when I'm sad because of someone I like/love.. I've been doing that maybe since I was in 9th grade.
      "Are you really crying?" a voice came from behind the curtains came. I though he was outside, he came closer to me and sat next to me without talking. I was wondering why did I stared liking him even though he use to beat me up constantly few months ago and why do I love him out of all the people around me. At that moment I wanted to tell him I liked him but maybe he'd run away from me like Taylor did, I started to cry more and more.
          He came closer to me and hugged me while patting my pack softly. He didn't said anything and stayed there for a long time and he wend to kitchen to bring water for me because I asked. Before he came I was already lying on bed, he came and gave me water. He laid next to me and gave me a kiss on my forehead and again another kissed me on lips which I didn't wanted him to do now after what happened about an hour ago. After lying on bed he looked me in the eyes,
"I'm sorry, I love you"
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