Never Just One ...for her

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Trigger warning: abuse/death/arson

I think I was about 7 years old when I learned of a girl whose boyfriend set fire to the trailer she was inside of. She lived with the burn scars for the rest of her life.
I was 27 when the baby's daddy of one of my high school classmates ran her off the road and shot her and him in the head bc she was hanging out with her other baby daddy who had just gotten out of jail. Children left without mothers and fathers.
Toxic Monogamy Culture: jealousy, insecurity, pride, suicide, homicide, lower vibrational energy scares the hell out of me entirely. I'm not against monogamy just the toxic culture of monogamy.

I've been watching the intros of me in here bc I'm very observant. Never get caught up in how others introduce you, introduce yourself. Our environment shapes us whether we want it to or not. Know who you are and introduce yourself before speaking. So I figured I'd introduce myself with my "why" am I here. I am not a unicorn. I am not a sister-wife. I am not a queen. I am a Goddess I am everything and everything does not fit into a box. I despise boxes.

In kindergarten, I had 2 boyfriends. One was black and one was white. Yin Yang. Light/dark. They both were sweet. Carried my backpack for me. I would hug and kiss them on the cheek. In 3rd grade, a group of girls and I conspired to attack the finest boy in 3rd grade with kisses. In 4th grade I had 2 boyfriends, and I provided lots of emotional and mental support. In 5th grade I had 3 boyfriends. In 6th-8th grade, I had 3.5 boyfriends. One of my boyfriends had a girlfriend. In high school, I had about 8 boyfriends. They all brought something different to the table. Some had girlfriends and some didn't. I had a theory. Different levels required different ways to love. So in my little book, there were different levels of love and I had every level detailed. The beauty of it all is that I was a virgin so none of my interactions/relationships were sexual. I learned at an early age that all relationships aren't sexual in nature. My energy is still just as infectious though and everyone wants it. I learned at the early age of 16 not to waste my time or energy after seeing my aunt divorce her husband of 20 years. I've been strengthening my awareness since. I have been cognizant of my time, energy, love, and emotion.

The difference now is that I let people be exactly who they are. I honor their space and their space to be individuals. I respect the human. I love connections and fear attachments. Attachments are unhealthy and draining. I need all of my energy. That's my background. I came to love and spread peace. I'm here to learn and see those that see me. If you cannot see me then you were never meant to experience me.

My first official poly experience was very traumatizing and ended in a restraining order. My next almost poly experience would've been dope had I known about it lmao. Yes that happens. I could've given him an entire harem smh but he wasn't educated nor knew what he wanted so I left him where he was at. I'm open to the poly experience bc just with anything, it'll be whatever I make it. My current poly experience is going pretty good and the transparency is so sexy.

Anyway...
There's more than enough love to go around. It's infinite, it's abundant, it's healing, and no one belongs to anyone so we are all entitled to have our own separate connections and or relationships. I encourage it as well.

Rules I live by. Don't take on anyone else's shit. Let them keep their shit. Observe don't absorb. Deal with your own shit. Love yourself and express yourself. Don't produce stalkers, emotional vampires, codependents...trauma. Refuse to be a product of trauma. Don't get caught up in anyone's shit. Let confused people be. Love and live your life while minding the business that minds you.