Winging It: Finding Faith ~ {A Rizzoli & Isles Fanfiction}

You're Family

Bret's POV

"How you feeling Maur?" I asked her as I walked into the bathroom. She was too busy with her head in the toilet to answer me. I knelt down beside her and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. I began to rub her back as I whispered, "It'll all be over soon babe."

After a few coughs, she sat back up and wiped her mouth. She asked, "Where's Elizabeth?"

"She's out there playing with Kate," I answered.

Taking a deep breath in and out, she spoke, "I've never felt so sick."

Ever since her first chemo appointment, Maura has been living in the bathroom. I had to give her a blanket and a pillow last night because she refuses to come in bed. Whenever she takes a step out of the bathroom, she will just turn around and run right back. I'm surprised I can get her out of the house for her chemo appointments. "It'll all be over soon," I whispered again.

"I want it to be over now. I can't do this anymore," she quietly sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. After pulling the blanket over us, I caressed her shoulder with my thumb. "Don't say that," I told her.

"I just want to give up."

Did I just hear what I thought I just heard? Doctor Maura Isles want to give up? I don't think so. 

"You want to give up because you're sick from chemo? Maura, you are cancer free. You beat it. This...this is just the next step," I tried to explain to her.

"There are no more steps..." she said as she turned away and looked down at the ground.

Confused, I questioned, "What do you mean?"

"There are no more steps. This is it- this is the end. I'm slowly getting weaker..."

"Maura, don't you dare say that," I tried to tell her.

She turned her head to look at me and snapped, "What good is a life where you can't leave the bathroom? Where...all you do is regurgitate? I'm going to die."

I couldn't even process this response. She is not going to die, I won't let that happen. We have a life together, we have Elizabeth. Where did all of this negativity come from? This definitely does not sound anything like Maura. "What the hell? No, you're not!"

"No, Bret! You don't understand."

"I don't understand? My mother went through this! What exactly do I not understand?" I angrily asked.

She just stared at me. There was nothing she had to say. I felt terrible for yelling at her the way I did so I apologized, "I'm sorry Maur. It's just...you're not going to die."

"Yes I am."

What the hell is with this woman? "No, you're not. Think of Elizabeth," I told her. Just as I said this, she leaned forward and vomited again. After a minute or two, she laid down on the floor and closed her eyes to take a nap. I put the blanket over her and left the room.

 I sighed as I picked Elizabeth up off of the floor and sat down on the couch next to Kate. "Everything alright?" she asked me, noticing that I'm frustrated.

"She's just so different right now. Telling me that she's gonna die and that she just wants to give up. I can't handle listening to that shit," I explained, trying not to get too aggravated.

Kate thought to herself for a few seconds before saying, "You know...I read this article about how most cancer patients will act like this after their surgeries and throughout chemotherapy. It's a side effect from everything."