Winging It: Finding Faith ~ {A Rizzoli & Isles Fanfiction}

Why The Hell Not

"Now Doctor Isles, we care about you a lot here, but this is not drawing great attention to BPD. I'm going to have to ask you to resign..." Cavanaugh began to explain.

I can't even begin to think about what I would do if I left my job. Bret works during the day, so I wouldn't be able to talk to him. Jane and Angela are at BPD as well, so I don't even have my Rizzolis. There would be nothing to do at my house. I need to be occupied during the day and without science... I would go stir crazy. "Please Lieutenant, I can't just stop working!" I begged him.

"Alright then, here's what we're going to do. You can resign and when you're ready to come back, you will have your job. We will hire a temporarily replacement," he tried to reason with me.

Knowing that I couldn't say or do anything else to make him change his mind, I stood up and spoke, "I will have my resignation for you by tomorrow morning."

As I walked out of the room, I heard him yell behind me, "Doctor Isles... I'm sorry!" I didn't bother to turn around to talk to him. My whole world is crumbling right in front of me. They're forcing me to resign because of my health? That is ridiculous.

During my drive home, I kept thinking about Bret. Typical, right? I kept thinking about whether or not we should get married now, or after the cancer is treated. The cancer. Those words sound so unreal and heart wrenching. The scariest thought is not knowing if I will be here in five or ten years down the road. Not knowing that the termination of the pregnancy was good enough. What if Bret was right? What if it didn't benefit me? What if we never get married?

After I pulled in the driveway, I walked quickly in my house. I slammed the door and walked over to Bret as he was holding Elizabeth in the kitchen. "Are you alright, Maura?" he asked me.

"Yes I'm fine," I answered as I reached out and took Elizabeth from him. I continued, "But I have been thinking..."

"Oh boy," he jokingly whispered as he sat down on the bar stool.

"No honey, you're right. What if the abortion wasn't enough? What if we never have our first kiss as husband and wife, or what if I can never throw my bouquet? Or, what if you never get to pull my garter down and toss that?"

"Where are you going with this?" he asked me.

I took in a deep breath as I placed Elizabeth on the floor so she could go play with her toys. Looking back up at Bret, I told him, "Let's get married! I mean, why the hell not, right?"

He stood up and felt my forehead and cheek, "Are you feeling alright?"

I chuckled as I placed my hands over top of his, "Yes. The reception will have to wait because I won't be able to drink, but we can still have a ceremony with the first dance, and the bouquet and garter toss! Then after all this cancer shit is done and over with, we can throw a big party."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes! Because....what if I don't make it? Let's have that celebration now, just in case we will never have the chance to," I told him.

He quickly pressed his lips against mine and held the kiss for a few seconds. When he slowly released, he looked down in my eyes and whispered, "Let's do it." I smiled up at him with tears in my eyes. This time, they were happy tears. Suddenly, I can see my whole life coming together again. Thinking about this, I kissed him again and wrapped my arms around him. I have always loved sentimental hugs such as this one. It makes a person feel whole inside. "So, are we getting married?" he asked me in a whisper.

Looking up at him, I jokingly asked, "Where's my ring?"

Reaching into his locked, he pulled out the little box that held the beautiful ring inside it. As he bent down to kneel in front of my, I lifted him back up and said, "No no. Don't kneel..." He laughed in his deep, sexy voice as he smiled down to my left hand that I was holding out for him. Slowly slipping the ring on my finger, he looked at me and whispered, "I never thought I would've ever gotten to do this to you."

I stared at my ring and whispered back, "It's beautiful," as I leaned in to kiss him again. I pulled away and bent down, "Elizabeth, look at mommy's new ring!" I told her. She patted the ring and laughed. The enormous smile pasted on my daughter's face gave me the feeling that I made my right decision. This little girl lightens my heart and always puts me in a good mood. She always makes this world seem like a better place.

Bret bent down and grabbed Elizabeth, tossing her in the air. Her giggles grew louder as she played with her father. These are the kind of moments that I pray I will never lose. Just then, Kate walked out of the guest bedroom and asked, "What the hell is going on? I'm trying to catch some Z's."

I laughed at her and replied, "Kate. Look!"

Holding out my hand to her, she grabbed it and inspected the ring. "Damn, look at the size of that thing! Congrats Maura!" she exclaimed and questioned, "So when's the wedding?"

Bret and I looked at each other as I answered Kate, "We are not sure yet. It has to be within the next week because of my surgery and chemo."

"Yeah, Maur, we gotta plan that. Kate, would you help us?" Bret asked her.

"Well is the grass green? Of course I will help you!" she said.

I couldn't be more excited for this day. Within a week, I will be married and become a wife. Oh my God. Within a week? There's barely any time! How am I supposed to get things done? Buy a dress, shoes, jewelry, decorations, and flowers? This is definitely going to be difficult, but it will be worth it. I would like to do all of these things with him before it's too late. Especially with Angela's help, it would be almost impossible to not get everything done.

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A few days later...

Everyone has been helping us set up for our big day. In exactly two days, on Saturday, Bret and I will be officially husband and wife. It's crazy how rushed this whole thing is, but we have no time. I'm scheduled to have a mastectomy next week and then start chemotherapy immediately afterwards.

And as for the wedding, we are setting up a small, intimate ceremony in my backyard. Nothing too fancy. Even though it may not be my dream wedding, it is still perfect. As long as Bret is standing next to me, Jane is on the other side, Angela walks me down the aisle, and my baby is there is her bouncer, then it will be absolutely perfect.

It may not be located in a fancy chapel, but we will still be getting married. That sounds so weird, doesn't it? We're getting married. I don't know. It might just be the fact that we are rushing everything so that it could happen, but I most certainly do not regret this. I couldn't be more excited for this day to come.