INSTEAD, james potter [1]

Chapter Sixty

The bruises still hadn't faded. There were no visible cuts, and the bone that Bellatrix had almost broken was completely healed due to Narcissa's healing spells. But the bruises were a cruel reminder of the pain Lyra had gone through. 

She had hoped that after she had gone to sleep the previous night, it would all be forgotten. That she would wake up and not feel the pain anymore. But it wouldn't go away. It still felt like being stabbed by a thousand needles. If not her body, then her mind. It was a constant headache. 

She tugged at her sleeve as she sat in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Some people had tried to go in, probably because most compartments were full. She only scared them away with a threatening look. 

There were no bruises to ruin her pretty face, but they covered her arms, her legs and her stomach. They didn't hurt to touch, but they were perfectly visible and noticeable if one knew where to look. 

The sleeve of her robe wouldn't go far enough down to cover the purple marks on her left wrist. She chuckled bitterly to herself, although her throat still hurt from the screaming and crying. Tugging at her sleeve, the way she had seen Regulus do so many times. To cover his Dark Mark.

She sighed and leaned her head against the window, ignoring the thumping of the moving train. In a way, the discomfort of it reminded her that she was still alive. She had undergone the torture curse, the most horrible of the Unforgivables in her opinion, and she was still alive. At least, for now. 

She was sure she was supposed to be in the prefects compartment to discuss the upcoming term with the Head Boy and Head Girl. But she couldn't go and look him in the eye, knowing that she was putting him in danger.

Lyra was allowed some clarity of mind while sitting alone, though. She had the chance to think about things, to contemplate what the hell she was going to do now. Because, truthfully, she was lost. 

Lyra Black loved James Potter more than words could ever dream to express. Every part of him had become her favorite things in the world, things she selfishly didn't ever want to live without. 

But she didn't want to deprive the world of him either. Because the world needed more people like James. A bright light in the darkness, cheering up those who are down, all out of the goodness of their hearts. 

Then again, leaving him didn't only mean leaving him. Remus, Sirius and Peter were all such important pieces of her life, all whom she loved (though two more than the last for obvious reasons). They'd live without her, she knew that. But she didn't know if she could live without them anymore. 

Because without them, she knew exactly what her life would hold. There was no use in being optimistic and hoping that if she worked hard, got good marks and got some position at the Ministry she'd be safe. She'd never be safe. Heartache seemed to follow her where she went.

She had two options, neither of which was perfect.

She could try to run away and choose James, to die with him in six months when they'd be hunted down by the Black family and the Death Eaters, all of whom would have a personal vendetta against them. 

Or she could protect him, make sure he lived and lose her heart for it. She just knew she'd be forced into a marriage with some sort of pureblood supremacist, which wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that she might have the Dark Mark on her arm within the year. 

"Lyra?" a voice asked from the compartment door. She was prepared to yell, to tell whoever it was to leave her alone. But then she saw Regulus, dressed in his robes with a concerned frown on his face. "Are you alright?"