INSTEAD, james potter [1]

Chapter Fifty-Five

Lyra found herself alone in the empty Transfiguration classroom. It was a dangerous thing, to leave a grieving young woman on her own. All she wanted was to fall apart and cry again, like she had done when she found Sirius grieving. 

But she knew she had to pull herself together, because if she wanted to cry then she wanted to do it on her own. And she was waiting for someone, and she didn't want to cry in his arms when they could make happy memories instead.

She stared straight ahead, trying her hardest not to imagine all the good memories she had had with her uncle, who had now been blasted off the family tree according to a letter she had gotten from Narcissa. 

One tear, she decided. James hadn't gone to see her yet, so she could get away with shedding one more tear in honor of her uncle, who she had once adored so much. So she let it fall, imagining his voice, his happiness, his light, the way he had been the only one in the family that cared more about its members than the ideals it stood for. 

But it was in that moment that the door opened. Lyra hurried to dry the tear from her cheek, but she knew James had seen it. She tried to fake a smile, to tell him she was alright, but he wouldn't ever believe it. 

James sighed, adjusting his glasses as he approached her. Once he was in front of her, he gently put his hands on her waist. "I'm really sorry about your uncle. I saw that Sirius was really torn up about it, but I haven't really seen you since it happened."

Lyra put her hands on his forearms, stroking them with her thumb. She shrugged, knowing there was no reason to lie to him. "It's just the fact that I didn't even know he was sick. And he was so young, only in his forties. I don't know how long muggles usually live, but it's very young for a wizard. It was just so..."

"Unexpected," James completed her sentence sadly. He sighed and pulled her into his arms, wanting to comfort her as well as he could, stroking her hair comfortingly. "I really wish this didn't happen. I don't want you to be sad."

Lyra pulled away after a few seconds, but not looking in his eye. There wasn't a trace of emotion on her face, which he considered quite strange as he had just walked in on her crying. She just looked tired. "Me neither."

He tried to smile comfortingly at his girlfriend, hoping to create some sort of reaction from her, even if he could't get a smile. "If life can truly be that short then I want to spend as much of it with you as possible."

The blonde only sighed, meeting his eyes tiredly. He could see the dark circles underneath her eyes, making him wonder how much sleep she had been getting lately. "James, this really isn't the time to propose to me."

"I'm not," he chuckled deeply, hesitating before continuing.  "But... I think it's time that we go public with our relationship. It's been months, Lyra. Only a few months away from a year. We can't hide forever."

"I don't know, James," she shook her head, turning her head away again, not wanting to see his probably hurt expression. "I just lost a member of my family. I'm not sure if I can go lose all of them now, no matter how poorly they treat each other, or me."

"They're horrible, Lyra!" he exclaimed, wondering how she could still be making excuses for them. "They used the Cruciatus curse on Sirius, they watched as you were forced to use it on somebody else. You've said yourself that all they want from you is to be a Death Eater."

That was enough for Lyra to explode, though she wasn't sure if it was in anger or sadness. "I know! Trust me, I know! But this is still my family. No matter what Fleamont or Euphemia could do, I'm sure you wouldn't ever want to leave them. No matter what."

James was a bit pleased she could finally show some actual emotion, but he still gaped in surprise at the words coming out of her mouth. "My parents would never do anything like what yours or Sirius's have done and you know it."