INSTEAD, james potter [1]

Chapter Forty-Seven

Lyra hadn't said a word to James in a week. Ever since he had dared to say those damned words. She didn't understand how he could claim to love her, because she thought there wasn't much for him to love. She hadn't given him any reason to love her, yet he seemed to do so anyway. 

He hadn't tried to talk to her for the last week either. She wasn't sure if it was only because he hated her again now, or if it was because he was so busy leading his Qudditch team to a hopeful victory in the Quidditch Cup. 

But because of this, she felt like she had taken at least fifty steps back. All the joy given to her by being around James and the boys seemed to fade. She still talked to Sirius and patrolled with Remus, but it didn't seem to be the same when the knowledge of James and Lyra being over loomed above their heads.

So she found herself back into old habits, spending more time with her fellow Slytherins. Her and Lucinda had gotten even closer, because they had both been so incredibly pissed off at Rabastan, although for different reasons.

The only issue was that they weren't both pissed off at him anymore. Rabastan and Lucinda had snogged again, and they were sort of a thing again, although he wouldn't admit that. So when Lyra hung out with Lucinda, she hung out with Rabastan. 

That's why she appreciated the time she spent with Sirius more than ever. When they were sitting together in the History of Magic classroom, reminicing about the time he had thrown a Quaffle through Bellatrix's window when they were eight, and Lyra took the blame. 

"Of course, I'll always be indebted to you for that great favor," said Sirius, although seeming like he wasn't quite serious about it. He then decided to change the subject. "Are you going to the Quidditch match tomorrow?"

"I thought I would stop by," Lyra shrugged, as if it didn't mean anything. She then noticed the look on his face, with raised, suggestive eyebrows. "It's not because of James. I couldn't care less."

"Get over yourself already," the Gryffindor rolled his eyes, leaning back into his chair casually, a smirk on his face. "This time, the argument is your fault. He's not the one being a git this time. This whole not being a couple thing was dumb from the beginning. We all thought so."

"This really isn't any of your business, is it?" she asked, coldly. She had had enough of people telling her what to do, even if a small part of her wanted to agree with him. She did miss James, but there were more reasons for them not to make up. 

"Of course it's my business, you idiot." She didn't even bat an eye at his insult, being used to his playfulness by now as he continued. "James was annoying enough when you were a thing, and now he doesn't talk about anything other than Quidditch because he doesn't want to think about you."

"Then let's not make him think about me. You just need to leave it alone. I made my choice, because what he said..." Lyra trailed off, not even able to say it. "I can't say it back, even if he wants me to."

Sirius looked more dramatic as usual as he raised his arms in wild gestures. "What? That he loves you? Are you going to act like you don't love him, too? Godric, Lyra, you're supposed to be smart."

Lyra avoided his eyes, resting her chin in her hand. "Don't. Please."

"Come on, you think I don't know you?" the black-haired boy asked, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm one of the people who knows you best in the world. We've known each other our whole lives."

She knew that was true. But things had happened that he didn't know about, as he had left their family already, although she didn't blame him for it. "That doesn't mean that you understand me and why I do what I do, Sirius."