INSTEAD, james potter [1]

Chapter Forty-Six

There was a strange sort of confidence given to Lyra over the past few weeks. Ever since that one patrol after Easter break, there had been a shift in tone. She had seemed so dull, so disheartened when she had come back to school. But one night with Remus had changed it all. 

Of course, she still had her doubts. It was hard not to. While she now felt more confident in her choices, in her ability to be who she wanted no matter what she had done, it didn't mean she hadn't done anything wrong. 

But seeing that Hippogriff flying through the air in a cloud of white, reminding her of the light that could shine through all of the darkness, told her all she needed to know. Having contributed to darkness doesn't mean one can't be good. 

All Lyra had wanted was to be good. Of course, the definition of good had changed throughout her life. The once so-obvious truth of muggles, muggleborns and half-breeds being the filth of the earth that would hurt them all if given the chance was no longer her reality. 

Her reality was that a so-called half-breed was now her best friend, the only person in the world she had talked to about her deepest doubts. Well, she hadn't given much detail, but they had been mentioned. 

And those who were blood traitors were supposed to be her greatest enemies, those who had betrayed them. But now her cousin, one of her favorite people in the world, was considered one of the greatest blood traitors of their time. And yet she loved Sirius Black with every fiber of her being and couldn't imagine a world where she didn't.

Even Peter Pettigrew, a half-blood, had wiggled his way into being a part of her life. She wasn't as close to him as she was with his closest friends, but he was a sweet boy. Once he had gotten over both his fear of and crush on her, he had become more comfortable around her. And she around him, even though he did grow up closer to the muggle world than she did. 

Those three had all become her friends (although Sirius had always been a friend, as well as family), even if they were each a different type of person that she had been raised to loathe. Lyra thought that if she managed to put all her doubts to side for them, there had to be hope for her. They seemed to all have hope for her. 

But there was one person who was a little different. Another so-called blood-traitor, a Gryffindor, an arrogant twat most of the time as well. Someone she should want to stay as far away from as possible. 

But there was something about James Potter that had drawn her in. At first she had believed that the only reason she found herself thinking about him when she shouldn't was because he had shown her attention. Lyra wasn't deprived of attention, but it was a new kind, from a new kind of person. She couldn't help but enjoy it. 

He was so genuinely good, as well. He hadn't always acted like it, but she had seen him grown into it. One would have thought that being around someone who had such light within him would make her feel darker. But that wasn't the case. 

James had the ability to make you feel like a better person just by being in his presence. Because if he saw something in Lyra that was worth fancying, then she would have to look within her and see that at least a small part of her was worth it. He made her want to believe in herself, and that inspired her greatly. 

Because he didn't spend his days thinking about Death Eaters, the Dark Lord and all the horrors of the war in the outside world. He might have, but he didn't show it. He knew people around him were all scared, and he didn't want to add to that. 

So he joked and he laughed and brought happiness to those around him. And Merlin knew that Lyra needed some happiness. She was a bit of a worrier, and she had had too much to worry about in these past few years.