Preacher Man // ross lynch + driver era

88

And maybe I'm a bit impulsive and embarrassed by that kiss.

It's just a little kiss.

Nothing to be embarrassed by, right? Unless he didn't want it.

I grab my toothbrush, turning on the sink water and I see him round the corner to look in. "Are you okay?" He asks.

I nod, wetting my toothbrush then beginning to brush my mouth. "Yeah," I say, watching his concerned face.

"I didn't know... if you were..." he says, not knowing what to say or how to say it.

I brush my tongue and rinse my mouth with water. "I hate the way yogurt makes my mouth taste like it sucks all the moisture out. It grosses me out," I say. "I don't know, it's weird."

"Okay good," he says, lingering for a bit. "I should probably head out soon."

I nod. "Oh, okay," I say, not sure what to do now.

Did I go too far?

He kissed me first in the bathroom so I thought maybe he... missed me enough to want to kiss me again?

That was dumb.

"Will I see you again?" He asks, grabbing his key and wallet from the small desk.

I nod, leaning my back against the small bit of wall between the bathroom and the open wall. "If you want," I reply as I place my toothbrush down.

"Okay, I'll let you know," he says, walking over and pulling me into a hug.

I watch as he makes his way over to the door. "Did I - did I do something? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you like that," I say, rambling without giving him a second to speak as my heart slams against my chest. "I know I look kind of different and that's okay if you're not attracted to me anymore. I get it, but just let me know."

Ross turns around slowly, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth already parted. "What'd you just say?" He whispers.

"What part?" I quietly asks, my heart racing even more.

He shakes his head. "All of it. Specifically the last part."

"I just... I said I was sorry for pushing limits with kissing you. I know you're in a relationship and it's fucked up for me to do that without knowing what you want. And I get it if you don't want me anymore, especially sexually because I look... different." He looks at me like he's pissed. "You just sounded a bit disappointed or grossed out when I was in my bra and underwear before... It's okay, you can go. Just forget I said anything."

I talk too much.

Ross blinks slowly, confusion written across his face. "Why would you think I wasn't attracted to you anymore, Hayl?"

"Because I don't know. The way you reacted earlier and now you're running out of here. And I fucked up my body, I don't know. I mean, I didn't really fuck it up. I look different."

I dug myself a grave and I don't know what to say without my insecurities flashing in bright lights.

"First off, it was never about your body, Hayley. You mean so much more to me than what you look like. Yes, I care about your health, but there is nothing else that I can care about your physical appearance. I... I fucking love you, Hayl. You're absolutely as beautiful to me as you were a year ago," he says, his hand now moving in the air along with every word he says. "And you will be as beautiful in a year or ten."