Through Blue Sparkly Eyes

There's No Going Back Now

🗝Give me the beat!🗝
Even was a little drowsy from staying up late watching Romeo and Juliet, again* Sitting on the bus watching out the window, he couldn't wait to get back home to take a nap.
His mind drifted to the usual direction it had been taking for quite sometime now.
After finally having talked to him last friday, Even thought them being in contact would continue it's natural course, but that wasn't the case. Not even as little as a "hi" while crossing paths in the halls, a growing fretful feeling of it not going anywhere. He became aware it was up to him to get things going.
_____________A Nice Chat
He got pulled out of the somber state he had suddenly fallen into when he saw him waiting for the bus, drowsiness gone also. He swiftly stood in front of the bus entrance giving destiny a hand. His heart rate increased as the boy approached him, lost in his phone, standing right next to him totally oblivious of the inner thrill he intailed. For a few seconds all Even did was look at him foolishly beaming through his eyes (his trademark really), in hopes of the boy maybe taking notice of him, but he was too absort in his own world. Even strived the impulse of throwing the boy's phone out the window. The thought of it intensifying the eye beaming.
Yes, it was up to him indeed.

"Hey" he said in a cheerful manner, there was no point in forcing himself to act in a more down to earth fashion, he didn't mind the boy knowing how happy it made him to see him neither could he suppress it.
The boy's response equally brief.
It was then time for Even to ask a stupid question, maybe the boy was into stupid and there was no way of knowing unless he asked.
Again, a brief response, now his turn for stupid, Even figured the boy also wanted to know about his preferences on the topic.
Awkward silence.
Sarcastic remark to lighten things up.
Got him to laugh, that was good.
More silence. Damn! It really was up to him, no kidding!

Even was already fretting they would get to destiny with no progress whatsoever, when the boy, shamelessly requested to take advantage of his age to ask him to get a bit illegal and get him some beer. Even had never felt so content of being used in his life.

________________Focus!
The walk to the store where Even mindlessly went in to commit a minor offence, a quite tiny one he considered, was to no surprise a quiet one. With the exception of the boy fleetingly explaing the reason for his solicitation.
As much as he really, really, (like) seriously, really liked him, he was not going to let him get away with it that easily.
He went out the store and casually told him he had forgotten his ID, so they would have to go to his apartment to get it. Easy peasy. He led the way like he used to, leaving it to the boy to decide whether to follow or not, but pretty confident on him doing so. After all they had an imminent thing going on.
Once they got there he was pretty pleased to find an empty apartment awaiting for them, which was very convenient.
As he pretended to look for his ID, the boy flattered him by liking his art. He kept pretending some more, buying him time to consider his possibilities. If he "found" his ID, then they would have to go back to the store, meaning the end of the rendezvous. Thinking of it reminded Even he had a joint in his jacket's pocket right next to it. He went full on the flaunting act, which proved itself to be infallible.

Even felt comfortable talking to him, and so did he, or so it seemed, all awkwardness vanished, like it never existed.
He was fun, and especially beautiful in the light generously pouring through the glass of the windowsill they were slouching on.
He loved to finally be able to share a casual chat and learn things about him. It felt cozy, almost overwhelmingly so. No Emmas in sight, which was always good. He had him all for himself and it all suggested he was enjoying it also.
A delicious mixture of laughs, puffs and glimpses becoming gazes as the time went on. The boy's lingering stares going deeper within him, shaking him to the core.
He could not be getting it wrong.

The kitchen had been a hoot, they created art, the kind that's so good, that passes as misunderstood. Or it could be just plain terrible. The boy echoing him when he said that there was no going back, got him thinking if he was still refering to their creation. His heart skipped a beat at the thought.

Again with the phone! Was it Emma?he wondered almost exteriorizing a despective grimace. That phone needed some fresh air.
Maybe he should ask Emma to come throw it out the window and help herself out afterwars, she also needed fresh air. Em-terruptus. Ugh.

He found him laying his eyes on him more often welcoming his own glances. It felt intimate, like it seldom did when just getting to know someone.
He was not taking things out of proportion.

When asked if he had heard about his rapping, Even considered it prudent not to mention he had actually more than heard about it, but had heard IT altogether, several times actually on Instagram, back in the ole days when he was not stalking him some. He also refrained from emmiting any sort of feedback about it. It had been fun, why ruin it with unsolicited opinions?
It had been a long time since Even laughed so hard, he cherished it and it scared him.
Even tried not to overthink it, but it really appeared as if they were in the same level, they were tuned, or so it felt. For some reason that made Even dubious. Provoking old painful memories to surface. Trying to shake those thoughts off his head to no avail.
Shouldn't he make a move if he was so sure they were on the same page? He wanted to. Why didn't he though? Was his subconscious preventing him from repeating a past mistake? He had misread his friend's closeness back then, he had promptly realized there had been no signs that indicated he ever wanted something more than friendship. And then he had ruined it acting out of nowhere when it wasn't the best time for him. This time he needed to be dead sure, he wouldn't let it happen again.
It had never been like this anyway.
Making him even more aware of how much more cautious he would have to be, in order to protect himself from what would surely bring him down like never before, if he was mistaken about the boy correspondence.

Hearing the bell ring, worked as a disenchanting call, that brought him back to earth. His sense of self protection sharpening right away. The promise of his comfort zone, was right there at the door, where he knew he would never get hurt no matter what he did. Always accepting, always a warm place to hide.
He had probably taken it out of proportion.

W/N
*I love the idea of them watching the movie at the same time the first time Isak watched it.

Boy it was so hard to come up with something about this one!, because Even's actions made no sense to me, but it just hit me and I'm pretty satisfied with it.
Let me know whether it made sense to you or not. I would love to get some feedback.