Through Blue Sparkly Eyes

Walking Right By

🗝Isak's walk and cantina🗝
Seeing him after deciding he should stay away ached, he'd unknowingly rejected him. He didn't need people like him in his life, but that didn't make him long for him any less. After all he hadn't seen him for almost two weeks now, he couldn't even get himself to remember what had happened during those long, damned long ten last days.

Going back to a safe although unsatisfying place wasn't bringing any comfort. She didn't deserve it either. And it would never cease to impress him how easily she would forgive him time after time. He was to thank her for that and most of all and as bad as it sounded for being a shoulder through all this. Even could feel she was well aware by now, she was not only accepting him back but also comforting him, helping him get through it. His compunction was markedly overshadowed by his bereavement. Still, as if more proof was needed of him being no good for neither of them, those fake apologies had made him feel guilty, which was increased by his selfishness for he could only feel tangible pain staying away from him.

The moments the boy and Even spent together were haunting him, leaving nothing but a sense of emptiness. Aggravated now, after so many days of no seeing him, by sudden stomach nerves after watching him walk by through the schoolyard without even shedding a glance his way. He looked gloomy and irked, the prospect of it being due to his actions made Even miserable. He had never cared about someone so deeply as to depriving himself from contacting them disregarding his own well being, yet he still had managed to hurt him.
He felt the impulse of sprinting to him get a hold of his arm and take him somewhere secluded to hold him so tight. And tell him how sorry he was for hurting him, if he had. And ask him to try to understand him and accept him as damaged as he was.
Once the momentum was gone Even felt like crying. Defeated in his own mind at the lack of an imaginary response from the boy that would ease his pain. But he was not THAT crazy. At least he had that to be thankful for.

Oops, watch where you're walking dude! Is he ok? Yep, chuckles, his peevishness would never fail to amuse him. Relieving him if not for just a few seconds of the dreariness he was submerged in. Even found himself resenting the however brief and rough contact that imprudent student had with him.

_______Plain Cheese Toast

At the cantina, Even needed a moment to put himself together when he almost bumped into the boy while going in. A novelty for him really, since he considered himself to be pretty confidant regarding other people especially his previous love interests. But of course, "he had never felt quite like this before"*. He was at a loss for words. Again, not his usual self. Damn, when one needed it the most! A "Hi" was all he could master. He felt his eyes eagerly tracing all the boy's features, fascinated by them.
He looked unquestionably distant, but, what else could he expect? That had been a cold hi for sure. But he had slightly smiled after, when Even had joked about the condiment, he would have never in a million years believed would be a strong reminder of them. He had even pulled one of those, "I'm too shy", teasing of his, followed by that eye lifting glance thing the boy did every so often, which made him weak and brought him hope. Hope things would magically untangle maybe? Alleviating him, if only.
The overall sensation being one of uneasiness filled with unspoken recriminations and heartfelt apologies.
Even ventured into yet another pointless comment about how the addition of the seasoning was really unnecessary and uncalled for, since it had proven to somehow soothe the ragged edges of the situation. He would intently refrain from mentioning it only did in fact make sense to them, having it become a thing of theirs. He had it all already layered on his head, "but.." he was abruptly interrupted by the boy's sudden departure. Walking right past him, again.
Did he even care? He hadn't sent a message back after he sent him that crappy "things are going too fast" nonsense. He had just accepted it no questions made. Even realized he was desperately trying to pour some of is of his own guilt on the boy, so he had at least something to blame him for, and it wouldn't all be his fault.
Was he entitled to resent any of that?, probably not. The kid was no doormat and that made him like him even more if possible.

*Out of time, quoting in third person, (which helps me light things up a bit, since this is hard for me) anyways!, it's all wrong! I shall fix it later 😉
Two clips covered here.