Falling - COMPLETED

Chapter 37 - Time

12 Months Later:

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Asher, Happy birthday to you" Hip Hip - HOORAY Hip Hip - HOORAY!"

12 months have passed since we lost Tyler, I missed him every single day, but when I looked into the eyes of my two little boys I could not help but feel blessed that he left the two biggest parts of himself with me.

Greyson Steven Archer was now 2 years old, spitting image of his father, he was an adorable little man, he exuded love and had a heart of gold.

Asher Tyler Archer was born on April 4th last year, a bit over a week after Tyler had passed, he had the Archer jeans too, just like his father and older brother but he was cursed with my pale english rose skin tone, He was absolutely gorgeous but he had his uncle's cheeky mannerisms - no doubt he was going to be my trouble maker. 

I sat on the back verandah, stretching out on a deck chair enjoying some peace and quiet after Asher's party, My two boys sleeping off their massive day. I watched the sun sink into the horizon admiring the amazing view in front of me.
A few months after Tyler died I had found out he had taken out a life insurance policy just before Greyson was born, everything had been left to me. It was quite a bit of money so I spent it on what I thought Tyler would have wanted, I bought a house for us, as close to anything as the one Tyler and I had dreamed of having together, 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 lounge rooms, office/play room, front and rear entertaining decks, massive kitchen area, pool and 2 car garage, There was even a small granny flat out the back. It was all set on about 2 acres of land which I thought the space would be important as my boys grew. 

I kept a small amount of money to keep us going until I was ready for the boys to go to daycare and the time came for me to get a job, the rest went into two trust accounts one for each of the boys to be released on their 18th birthdays. 

Jackson moved with us, Him and Harper were still doing whatever it was they were doing, although the last few times she has been here she keeps to herself, sticks to her phone and barely speaks - I just assumed she didn't know how to be around me after Tyler - she wouldn't be the first one to go a bit strange.
Sophia moved into the granny flat out the back, It meant she would no longer have to pay rent so she could reduce her hours at work, It also kept her close to the boys, and being as they were a walking reminder of Tyler I thought it would do her good.

Tyler - god I missed him, I still dream about him although they are actual dreams now, the nightmares had stopped a few months back, they were always about thing we had done or places we had been together, sometimes I would dream about having a conversation with him, about how he would answer me.
Jax and I had planted an oak tree in the back yard visible from the decking and we buried Tylers ashes underneath. I wanted some where the boys and I could go to talk or just feel connected to Tyler.
At times I imagine how my life would be if Tyler were alive, no doubt I would be pregnant with baby number 3, driving him crazy with my pregnant body. I think back to the last conversation we had and I thank god every day I told him I loved him in that phone call. I felt a tear run down my face as Jackson came outside, I instantly sat up allowing him to move in behind me, his hand folding around my middle,

"Harper gone?" 

"Yeah, Mum is asleep in Greysons room on the rocking chair, I woke her but she didn't want to leave" I nodded,

"Did you give her a blanket?"

"Hmmmm, What are you thinking about out here all by yourself" he asked even though he knew, he always knew,

"You know" I whispered as another tear escaped,

"Hey, come on Star, Ty would be so proud of you, Look at what you've done, look at this life you are giving those boys, you're an incredible woman Skye" he tightened his hold around my waist, we stayed like this until the night air turned cool making me shiver

"Cold" Jackson asked,

"Yeah, we should probably go in" I stood up and held my hand out for Jackson pulling him up he grabbed my hips to steady himself, once he was stable he reached out and tucked a loose piece of my hair behind my ear

"You're so beautiful Skye, my brother knew how lucky he was to have you, even if it was only for a short time" he kissed my forehead and grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers "Come on lets get out of the cold"

Days passed after Ashers birthday and I began to realise how monotonous my life was becoming, wake up, feed boys, shower, clean house, put boys down for nap, more cleaning, feed boys, play with boys, cook dinner, feed boys, bed. Don't get me wrong I loved my boys but I was beginning to think maybe I could get a part time job, Sophia had Mondays and Fridays off work and I knew she would watch the boys at a drop of a hat, Maybe if I could find someone who would be willing to give me a trial I could see how it went. I didn't have much experience, I had the hospitality certificate from when I completed it in high school and Jackson got me to go to an RSA/RSG when I was pregnant with Asher so I guess something in a cafe/coffee shop or bar... Maybe if I could hitch a ride into town with Jackson tomorrow I could have a look around, It was Friday so Soph could look after the boys if she wasn't busy.

The boys were sleeping so I walked outside and sat under the Oak tree in the back yard, It was still only small but over time it would grow big, strong and powerful just like Tyler.

"Hey you, I wonder if you can hear me, god I hope so, I hope you are watching these beautiful boys we created, how much they are like their daddy. I didn't even know it was possible to feel equal amounts of pleasure and pain as I do when I look into their big emerald green eyes, your eyes.
I miss you so much Tyler, everyday I wish you would walk through our front door, wrap your big arms around me and call me your baby girl. It is so hard without you I don't even know how I am doing it, But I will keep fighting cause I am strong, right Ty, I'll keep fighting everyday for our boys, for me, I'll fight for you Tyler because that is what you would want me to do.
I don't know if there is a heaven or hell, I don't know if I believe in an afterlife, what I do know is that someday, somehow I will find you - God I love you Tyler, Forever"

I let the last of my tears I had cried while talking to him fall down my cheeks, as the warm breeze brushed through my body, almost like someone had pulled me into their warm embrace, I closed my eyes and for a moment I imagined it was Tyler.