Name of my Love | on hold

twelve

Flashback

A silhouette appears in the dim light, and stark spots of florescent and magenta lights fall upon the manly figure, on his dirty locks to his disfigured nose. He moves closer to me until he towers me completely, and looks down on me before projecting his hand below, to help me get up from the floor. I dismissively wave my hand and get up on my own with wobbling legs.

I feel lightheaded.

I've hurt my knee cap so it's very natural to feel tingling soreness laminated in there, enough that I'm compelled to lean a little over the banister for supporting my tipsy self.

He grumbles something in Korean which makes me tilt my head to the side with an eyebrow arch up. I shake my head disapprovingly to whatever he blurted out. I don't get bothered by whatever he mouthed and look over my shoulder behind me, planning to leave. The atmosphere is humid, the music ear-piercing and the place is crowded, entirely crowded. I couldn't say who is whom. I'm one among them, anonymous.

I bring back my attention to the stranger next to me, who is busy checking me out, with drool threatening to leak off his mouth. Ignoring him, I rub my eyes since I feel strained in the dimness with jingling linings of lights. I climb the first few steps in order to reach the entrance situated at the first floor. Before I reach any farther, he, surprisingly grabs my arm and I adamantly throw it away with a jerk. "Don't touch," I reprimand, giving him the worst stare in my mild-inebriated state. He smirks.

"I'll try, but you're tempting, babe," he grins maliciously, and clamps his hand over my shoulder just after. I manage to shake it off me and trudge upstairs a little more, now being more urgent. But he immediately catches up to me. "Don't try to play hard," he taunts, and instead of the blaring music I could clearly hear it.

He shifts terribly close to me with an intention I don't want to know. One of his hand threatening to reach me, which causes me to swat it away before it does.

"Hey... it's me."

Jungkook.

I blink my eyes in utter confusion with a semi-panick mode on. I'm home. I repeat in my head. Jungkook stares my form with nonchalance, and I passively blink down tears forming at the corner of my eyes. His eyes trail from my sweating forehead to my tears-filled eyes. More confused than I am.

He moves closer to me, slowly. Eyes stick to my terrified expression. I find it highly unlikely to stay steady any longer so I eventually lung myself right into his arms and let out a small ugly sob. His back turns stiff at my touch, slightly taken aback. "I'm scared," I speak, almost in a whisper, my mind.

It takes him seconds to register the things. And when he does, he gently pulls me closer than before, squeezing our bodies  against each other. His free hand rubs my back in small circles. Tears spill out of my eyes no matter how much I defiant them not to. Time seems to have stopped at this moment where I smell him, his essence and his unique aura. As though it is my safe haven.

The flashback was vivid yet confusing enough to leave me stranded. What actually happened? Seeing a little piece of my past-self makes me feel disgusted. Am I one of those nasty, spoiled kids who get wasted here and there? Would Jungkook hate me if he finds out?

"It's okay," he softly whispers, his hand painstakingly circling my back and his chin placed upon my head. I form small fists, holding his shirt at his back firmly, and more tightly.