crumble | h.s

part twenty five

"I've never had somewhere to fall if I needed it. Even growing up, no one really gave a shit." 

I look ahead of me as sadness fills my heart. Maybe if Harry had some sort of caring outlet before, things would be different.

"I've never felt 'cared for'." he says, doing air quotes with his fingers. 

"That is, until you." he says, leaning over and nudging me with his broad shoulders, causing me to smile softly. "But I guess that's why I turned out this way." he sighs. 

I shake my head and instinctively take his hand in mine as I did earlier. But this time, I don't let go. I grip his hand tightly, causing him to look at me. 

"You deserve to be cared for, Harry." I tell him, making his eyes soften. 

"No I don't." he shakes his head. "I'm a bad person and you shouldn't feel this way about me, Lyds." he speaks softly. 

"Harry, I'm sorry but I'm allowed to feel this way about you. I'm not going to stop." I say, looking deep into his eyes. They were filled with sadness, but I could still see the hope inside them. I flick my eyes back and forth between his. 

"I'm sorry for running." I whisper, remembering the words he muttered to me before kissing me under the sunrise. He shakes his head when the words leave my mouth, grasping my hand tighter. 

"You had every right to. I'm sorry for giving you a reason to run." 

I give him a look of sympathy, and reassurance. I know that he's done bad things. I know he's dangerous. But yet, I trusted him so much. He made me feel so secure and it took me a little bit to realize it. 

I look ahead at the sunset. The sun was low on the horizon and the sky, along with the clouds were painted with a dark orange tint. It contrasted with the sunrise, which always had a more pink-ish glow to it...and the warmth from the sun would intensify, rather than fade away. 

I looked down at my lap to see that Harry and I were still holding hands. He had a tight grip on mine but I didn't want him to let go. My heart was warm while sitting here next to him. It felt so right and I didn't care about anything else in that moment. 

Only him. 

-

Harry and I watched the whole sunset, and then drove home. It was dark outside, and there was no one else on the road. 

The absence of anyone else around us caused me to roll down the windows and blast the radio at one point. Harry pretended like he was embarrassed, but I knew he enjoyed it. 

It was about 11:30 when we got to the house. Harry unlocked the door and held it open so that I could walk in before him. 

"You can go to bed if you want, I'm just gonna go talk to the guys." he says, turning to face me. 

"I'll come with you." I say. It's probably best if I talk to them again, so that they know I'm okay. 

Harry nods and I follow him to the living room with my book in my hand, where the boys are sitting. Their heads snap up from the television screen as we enter the room. 

"Hey guys." Niall says, flicking his eyes between Harry and I. I smile back at him and the others. They all exchange looks. I'm guessing they knew about what happened the night before. 

I go and sit on the couch that Niall was on. Liam was on the opposite end, and Louis was on the loveseat, with a beer in hand. Harry came and sat next to me. 

"So." Liam starts. "How is...everything?" he asks. I feel my cheeks burn and I look down at my book. 

"Everything's fine." Harry says, making Liam nod. 

-

After watching a movie with the boys, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. As I looked in the mirror, I realized that I looked different than I did this morning. 

This morning, I had bags under my eyes, my cheeks were sunken in and I looked absolutely shattered. But now, I looked full and put back together. I smile before heading into my bedroom. 

When I opened the door, I noticed something sitting on the bed. And as I got closer, I realized that it was a book.

I picked it up and examined it. My eyes crinkled as I smiled and bit my lip when I read the cover. 

"The Great Gatsby." 

-

kind of a short chapter sorry! 

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