Friends.. who needs them? I'm fine on my own. All my friends I've had have ever done was use me, give up on me, and leave me. I don't need friends, I'm fine on my own. Every time that voice in my head said they would leave me they did. They left me alone. They left me and never looked back, never thought of how I felt. Never thought of how their words hurt me more than someone stabbing a knife in my heart and twisting it around. It felt like every time I had a friend they left and I was stranded on an island crying out for someone to come and rescue me, giving up and trying to leave the island by a raft of fake confidence only for a wave of realization that I'll never have her again to come and crash over that small raft, leaving me for the sharks of suicide, trying to swim back to the shore of that lonely island before those sharks can reach me and sometimes they almost do. And then I realize that it's because of friends I'm like this, it's because I put my trust on someone who broke it multiple times but I poorly kept putting it back together until I was left with one shard I was afraid to lose. That one shard I would then use to cut to maybe open up a way to happiness within each scar only to find numbness which I assumed was happiness so I kept doing it soon growing an addiction, every second of every day I would crave that feeling but refusing it because it's summer and my mother would get suspicious if I wore long sleeves.
I'm done with having friends.. I don't need them. I'm fine alone.
