I Am Mr. Hyde

VIII ♛ 𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖋𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖘 𝖆𝖜𝖆𝖞

Dimash woke up in his personal hell. On awakening, a ghastly feeling had engulfed him. Was it a dream or reality? It's impossible... not even him could have killed that many people overnight. His cheeks were wet and his trembling body bathed in cold sweat. There was enough sweat to fill an entire bottle. Even his breaths trembled.

The room was so black he couldn't see a thing. The remnants of his nightmare still clung to his mind prolonging the anxiety but Dimash forced himself back into the sleeping position and buried his face into his wet pillow. No! Go away! he screamed soundlessly. Images of blood and dead bodies encircled him and Dimash squeezed the pillow so hard his skin blanched.

Although tiredness was written all over his face, the bed wasn't his friend anymore. It was rather his enemy. It only reminded him of the sleepless, lonely nights he tried to escape by hiding under the sheets. Mr. Hyde had slept in this same bed just like him, probably thinking how unfair life was when you couldn't live it to the fullest.

They deserved it, right? he thought when a burning sensation of guilt caused a lump to form in his throat. It was so hard to breathe. It was so hard to stay sane in this world and avoid a mental breakdown. Most people had a place where to escape their hardships. Dimash had none. They were the evil guys I killed... Why do I feel so guilty? Why can't I just let them go?

He knew the answer, obvious as it was. Because they never deserved it... and I am more devil than any of them.

I am a worthless shit.

...and it would be better was I never born.

Why am I still living?

...and if I actually died, would anyone cry over me?

Did my dear mother and father love me?

...and did they die as God's punishment for my sins?

Are my grandparents watching me from the heaven?

...and what would they say to me now?

Where are my brother Mansur and sister Raushan?

...do they ever think of me?

...do they miss me as much as I miss them?

I am so sorry... for leaving so suddenly. I just... wanted to protect you. I should've told you the truth. Because of me, our paths are permanently separated. Because of me, you have to fight all alone in this world. Because of me, you will always think of me as the worst big brother ever.

But you are safe now...

At long last when the first daylight appeared at the crack of dawn, the shadows fell and died. The inky, eerie night had passed waiting for the morning to come which Dimash finally, hours later, welcomed in relief while giving up on his useless attempts to fall asleep. He turned around on his back to check out the time from the alarm clock but instead of that, he was greeted with something else. Something that made his stomach turn.

Dimash screamed. He was unable to suppress the abrupt feeling of terror and he clamped his hand over his mouth to mute himself. His eyes were like two plates when taking in the gut-wrenching view in front of him.