Perfect (Third book to the series Senior Year) - jb

22. Devastated

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1 month later

Ava's POV

I woke up to three knocking sounds, them echoing in my apartment. I turned on my right side under the duvéet to see it was 3pm. Again I had slept through half of the day. I didn't know it was possible. Possible for me to sleep so much during the last 30 days. I was always the kind of person to wake up at 8am and get shit done. But I wasn't that person anymore. I wasn't the kind of person I was 8 months ago. I was less. I was a corpse, living in a small apartment, not even going to work. What a disgrace I was.

Three knocks were heard again.

Sighing deeply, I pushed the duvéet aside and stood up from my bed. I grabbed my white fluffy morning gown from the end of my bed and headed out of my bedroom, towards the front door. My hand wrapped around the door knob and twisted it. When I pulled the door opened, it revealed my sister. Not Alex.

Abbie.

I stared at her through heavy eyelids. Her expression was somewhat relieved. She was pushing a stroller back and forth. Her youngest child, Lyanna, was sleeping there. Lyanna was 4 months old. She had hair, white as snow, on her head and bright blue eyes. She looked just like her father.

"Can we come in?" Abbie asked, carefully.

I shrugged, whispering 'sure' as I let them in.

I walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. My throat was sore from all the sleeping and I had a very bad taste in my mouth. I heard Abbie sitting down on the couch, hushing Lyanna in her strollers. I took my glass of water and went to the living room to accompany Abbie and my niece.

"I'm not gonna beat around the bushes so I'll just go straight into the subject." Abbie started, "I know you're heartbroken and I can't even say how angry I am at him for breaking your heart for the millionth time."

I knew what she was talking about.

Justin left me a month ago. Yes, he left me. Even though he waited for six months and made a whole fucking album about me. But just like that, I was nothing to him. He told me this life we were living was something he didn't want anymore. Just as I had gone there, to finally live with him, he decides to live a life that doesn't include me. I could say he had changed but then I would be lying. He hadn't changed. Yes, he used drugs but apart from that he was the same. And it breaks me to think he was the same but didn't just want me anymore.

And oh, how much I've been crying. So much that I actually felt dry. And to hear Abbie talking about him did nothing to me. That was how fed up with him I was. How dare he make that decision. How dare he think he actually had the choice.

"You need to move on. Start a new life. Go out, find someone else. Or don't. But at least live your life. You won't be young ever again and I don't want to see him ruining your life ever again. You're 21 for crying out loud. Act like an adult and stop thinking about the boy who has broken your heart, I don't know, three or four times. You need a man, a real man. Or a woman, whatever tickles your pickle." Abbie spoke quietly.

She was obviously right. But at the moment I didn't want anyone. I had lost all hope for having a perfect relationship. I needed to be alone.

"If you-" her sentence was interrupted by Lyanna's quiet cries.

Abbie lifted her up from the strollers to breastfeed her. Lyanna was a beautiful baby, just like Brielle was. Only Bri had dark hair and eyes. The girls looked total opposites from each other.

I was emotionless. I watched as Abbie hushed her baby while stroking her head. And it did nothing to me. Half a year ago I would've looked at the scene in awe, dreaming about the day I would be able to hold my baby in my arms. It was long gone. So were my feelings.