Get You // Jenlisa

eight

"I promise you, from now on no fucking body will be able to lay a hand on you anymore once you come back to school," I said as I stroked Rosé's hair while she rested her head on my arm, both of us laying on her bed.

"Jinjja?" she asked looking at me with her tearful eyes once again. Like a kid trying to see if I'm saying the truth that no monsters would come out of her bed at night. It pained me to see my sister like this. I'm so stupid for not seeing that I was hurting her before.

I hummed in agreement and hugged her tight, "So come back to school now okay? Unnie will protect you. I promise."

I felt her nod while burying her head on my chest, making me somewhat at ease.

At first I was shocked to hear before about that bullying thing because Joy has always told me how fun it is to be with Rosé, so when my sister told me that Joy was bullying her before, I didn't take it seriously. I felt so angry the moment I learned about it that I got into a fight with Joy.

My parents were called to school because I've hurt Joy badly. Of course, mom was so disappointed in me but I didn't feel an ounce of regret. From then on people knew they better not mess with me nor my sister. 

And that felt good because for the first time, I felt like a real Unnie. Rosé and I became closer again, just like when we were younger. 

Flashback ended

Lisa's eyes widened when I told her that Rosé came home last night, soaked in the rain. And that lately, she's so distracted about everything. She couldn't sleep at night nor eat well. I've been seeing her cry despite her attempts to keep it a secret.

"She has a fever today so she didn't go to school," I added while brushing off the tears that lingered on my cheeks and looked away. "I just wish whatever she's feeling is nothing like being clinically depressed again."

I was stunned when she suddenly pulled me in for a bear hug. Not knowing what to say nor do, I just gave in and buried my head in her shoulder as I was now unable to stop myself from sobbing.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered while stroking my hair that somehow managed to calm me.

I can feel my heart racing because of the unfamiliar warmth she was giving me, but I was thankful that she's here.

I know it wasn't just about Lisa not liking Rosé back. And it once again made me guilty that probably, was Lisa said days ago was right. That I was insecure and I'm doing everything to be the best, not realizing how much it's affecting my sister.

My insecurities are probably making her suffer. 

I squeezed my eyes shut as I pulled away from Lisa's warm embrace, "I knew Rosé thinks that no one ever chooses her, I made her feel that way. And you, by not feeling the same way with her, triggered her to feel every insecurity all at once. All of the insecurities that I caused her. It's all my fault..."

"No, no, Jennie," she tugged on my hand. I looked at her hand holding mine firmly. I looked at her deep brown eyes with a numb expression on my face. She gave my hand a squeeze before pursing her lips, "I was out of line when I told you all those bullshit before. I'm sorry. But please don't be so hard on yourself."

My vision was getting blurry once again as I looked at her, but her soft voice was still clear on my head when she said, "It's okay, Jennie. I'm here," then I felt her wipe away my tears.

I slowly nodded as I tried to calm myself once again. And when I did, I tried to meet her deep, brown eyes that were looking meaningfully at me.

God, I was so awful for treating her badly. I hate to admit it but honestly, she made me feel a lot better. Plus the fact that I haven't cried like this in a while now and I feel so much better now.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I tried to look away.

"No problem. I'm just... uhm, here if you need me. Even if we're... not that close," she stepped a little further, probably to distance herself now that I'm somewhat feeling a bit better now.

I smiled, grateful that she's here.

"By the way," she caught my attention once again with her question. She looked at me with pleading eyes, "Can I go see her?"

I think I stared a little too long at her deep brown orbs while a million things were running on my mind that I kind of got lost in my own thoughts.

"Jennie?"

I snapped back into reality and looked straight at her, "H-Huh?"

"I was asking if I can go see Rosé?" she asked again, making me realize that I haven't asnwered her question yet.

I gave her a small smile with a nod, "She needs you beside her..."

...more than I do.