I'm Fine | Lee Daehwi

Confrontation

"Daniel? Why aren't you in the hospital bed?" I asked.

"There's no problem with my whole body, just my arm." He waved it carelessly.

"Ah." I replied. "Do you want to go in to see Jinyoung?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you." He said.

"... Me?" I pointed to my body in disbelief. Many thoughts passed through my brain in one go, scanning through several ideas as to why Daniel wanted to talk to me.

"Yeah, Daehwi. Let's go somewhere quieter okay? I promise it's nothing bad, judging by the expression on your face." He chuckled with a dry sound.

I felt the frown I made in that moment and switched to a straight, plain expression. I simply nodded, then he turned around and walked off. I assumed he wanted to follow him so I did.

We ended up in quite a secluded area of the hospital. It was a garden. In contrast to the building, the grass was vibrant and luscious, especially since the sun was peeking out through the clouds. I sharply inhaled and felt a wave of cold air rush through my body, relaxing as I expelled my nerves.

We both sat down on a bench which faced a small pond. I didn't know why he wanted to speak to me, so I had nothing to say. I just stared down the small ripples in the water.

"Daehwi. I've been worried about you recently. You don't seem very happy whenever I see you."

"H... how did you know?" Heat started to rise in my face since I never expected any of them to actually notice me. Daniel sighed and slumped into the bench.

"I know that you're a quiet kid Dae, but I'm your friend aren't I? What kind of friend wouldn't be able to tell if their friend is sad? Now tell me, what's making you feel this way?"

His direct questions made me uncomfortable so I kept my gaze on the hands resting in my lap. Should I tell him? If he noticed me, does that mean they weren't ignoring me? But, it's so hard to open up after so long. I don't want him to judge me. Maybe I was just being stupid after all.

Apparently I was discussing things in my mind for a little too long as there was a weight applying a force on my shoulder which caused me to snap my eyes towards Daniel. My eyebrows were furrowed deeply, to the point where I relaxed my face when I felt the strain.

"Daehwi, you shouldn't be afraid to tell me anything. If you want, I'll even keep what we say a secret. If there is something troubling you, please, don't keep it all to yourself. But, if you don't want to tell me now, it okay. I can wait until you're comfortable enough." He smiled gently at me, eyes showing the same concern a mother would at their child.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I dropped my shoulders and felt an instant relief. I think he's right. If I don't try to change the situation now, will the problem ever be solved?

I opened my mouth to speak.

"Recently, I've been feeling like I'm not a part of the group anymore. Whenever I want to talk to someone or try to say something, everyone seems like they don't have the time for me. Even if they did pay attention to me, it would just be for a split second, and then they'd just talk to each other again as if I wasn't even there. However, when Jinyoung joined the school, he made me feel better because there was someone who would listen to me and actually put in effort to communicate. I've always thought of all of us as friends but I question it every time you guys walk away from me. Sometimes I don't even feel like a part of the group anymore." Before I knew it, tears pooled down my face, landing on the hands which had grasped onto my trousers in the process. 

A soothing hand rubbed circles in my back as I hiccuped intensely, trying to stop the tears flowing.

"Daehwi... I never knew that's what you thought. I've always assumed you didn't want to talk and preferred to listen instead. To me it didn't seem as if you were being ignored, but I promise you we never meant to make you feel this way. I'm really sorry that you couldn't feel like a part of the group. Please, tell us next time if something like this happens again. You should know by now that were all just a bunch of idiots who suck at reading social cues," Daniel laughed awkwardly. 

"Thank... thanks Daniel."

"Anytime. Now, I think we should get you some water first and after you've managed to relax a little bit, we can both go back to see Jinyoung and the others. Does that sound okay? We may not be able to turn back time, but I can assure you that we won't ever make you feel alone from now on."

I nodded weakly and he stood up to buy a bottle from the vending machine. As I sat on my own on the bench, a small breeze flew by and I had never felt more at ease in my life. I was no longer saturated with such negative emotions and it gave me the confidence to try and get better, to be able to talk to others bravely and feel happy again.

End