Cold

Chapter 36

Long chap!
Enjoy ;)
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Allowing gravity to do its thing. I raise my arms and go down in a slow but steady motion. I try to blank my mind as I keep my eyes close.

My mind needs to be placed in another place. I need to transport myself somewhere else in order to get through this little dare.

I don't want to find out what happens if I come up before five minutes.

Problem is... I don't know what to think about.

To try and imagine.

The only thing that does come to mind is Gavin and the life we could have.

Or in other words. Right now. What we should have. What we should be having right now.

I wouldn't be in this situation if I were with Gavin right now. I would probably be up there. With him. Smiling. Laughing. Hugging. Kissing...God!

I just wish I never did those things all those years ago. Now I'm paying the price for the stupid actions.

To be completely honest it wasn't even my fault...

Gavin AND Charles just kinda...pushed me to do it?

Yah. That doesn't sound true.

Whatever.

The damage is done and now I need to focus on how to survive this...

I still don't understand why Charles would do this to me. Is he testing me? Seeing if I'm able to actually be apart of whatever he has going on with Lorenzo and the Massimo's and those three buff guys who I still think are in the mafia or something...

Wow. I even ramble in my own head. I'm annoying as f*ck!

I want to smile at myself but I don't. If I do, water will go into my mouth and I'll need air.

Once my feet hit the pools floor, I know the time is actually starting now. 

How did this end up happening to me?

All I did was talk back to him...Well...I guess that's why he did it. I practically humiliated him in front of the senior grad.

I'm actually not surprised that he did it. That would be a good reason why. I really hope that's the reason why.

The other thing that I'm worried about is that if Charles would actually put his hand in the water signally me when the time is up. Maybe he would do me a solid and actually live up to his promises.

Or maybe he's going to trick me and say that he never did. Then me deal with the consequences. 

I shake my head and begin to think about something else. Well. Trying to at least. But once again my mind reaches to Gavin and the moments we once shared.

The way he used to hold me in his arms.

The way he used to kiss me.

The way he used to make me scream him name and the way he made me feel whole in such a weird but good way. He brought out something in me that I never knew was there.

But he ended up leaving me for it and now look where we are.

He made me feel so safe and secure about everything. He made me feel confident in such a weird way that I loved it. It was as if I ever had a problem, I would go to him and he would just accept me for it.

Well, that's all recently. Our past holds a different story. We haven't spoken to each other in a long time and now, the one time that we're stuck in a snow storm, he decides to talk to me. To start something that was once there. To ignite that spark that was beginning to die down. That was so close to finishing but then it came back in a second because of him.