(18+ EXPLICIT CONTENT)
"I'm good at other things too, sweetheart," His voice was gruff and husky, my lips unconsciously parting in a daze. He's standing dangerously close to me, trapping me between him and my cupboards. The tension is suffocating an...
Hey!! This is short and I might add onto this chapter later, but I really wanted to put this out. I had to rewrite it because I wasn't feeling the older version. Thanks for the support. Much love xxx
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Through time, one might say they begin to understand the dynamic for their life--what exactly they intend on accomplishing and pursuing. They might say that life was supposed to go this way, that everything happens for a reason and you learn to adapt. You see, as someone that's undergone much emotional strain and distress, I'd easily shake my head and stick my nose up to that expression. However, now that I've taken a brief step back and analyzed most of the situation, I discovered that maybe that isn't so far fetched.
Will and I had always stayed on the same wave, flowing through time like there was nothing to be bothered by. Obviously, this wasn't applicable towards the end, but we didn't have conflicting ideals nor did we have a different mindset for the most part. We were sickly similar, and I'd come to realize that a year into our relationship.
It wasn't too alarming at the time, but now that I've evaluated it, perhaps he stultified the tedious routine and yearned for something rousing. Hence the reason, he turned his fixation towards my attention-seeking sister in confidence. He still wanted the security and assurement I provided no doubt, but he needed that burning spark and something to keep him on the edge of his toes.
He was bored—I was boring to him.
That generated a lot of baggage onto me, causing plenty of self-doubt and insecurity, and seeing them together reestablished those treacherous feelings. That's why I reacted that way that night, the irresponsibility fluent in my veins, bolstering the alcohol. I had been at such a low, it internally made me cringe, knowing Jack had seen me so vulnerable and graceless.
Not to mention, I heedlessly revealed significant information that could possibly alter the way Jack thinks about me. Hell, I had probably struck him to be some foolish, ignorant person that married too rashfully, drowning my sorrows without a second thought. I mean, thank god he had been there, but what really was my plan? There was no way I could have driven home that night. Was I just going to leave my car and get an uber?
He'd probably mused those as well, reevaluating if he should actually get involved with something quaintly complex. It was only logical, as well, I'd imagined he had already had his share of intricate relationships due to the age difference. They weren't something everyone aspired, nor did anyone seek to allow such time and effort.
Furthermore, in collaboration, we didn't appear to qualify for each other's personalities. Rather, we were dissimilar, composing of different mindsets and relying on different waves to steer us through life. Sure, we had agreed on a few things, but that night at dinner really set the tone on our outlooks. In fact, I didn't think he would have asked me out after because of the deviation.
But maybe that was what I needed: some contrast in my life. Perhaps the resemblance in outlooks provides an imbalance in the motions and creates problems similar to Will's affair. Everything becomes monotonous and you begin to crave something more, hoping for that burning tension I've undoubtedly endured for Jack.
