Love Will Take You Places

I finally found a way

I stopped a few feet from where our cave was and I turned and looked at Branch. "Our pack is in a sort of confusing place right now so don't get offended or sad if they don't accept you right away. Our pack has recently had bad experiences with a stranger but if you learn how to prove your loyalty I'm sure they'll trust you soon enough," I said in the most encouraging voice I could muster. He simply nodded and then broke down in tears; I sat down beside him and wrapped my tail over his shoulders quietly calming him. I didn't blame him though, I had felt the same after I'd been through what happened with MoonLight, though he was better at expressing himself than I was.........I had just kept it inside. At this point I honestly just didn't feel anything...I didn't feel anything but a desire to be loved, cared about, and forgiven. Maybe then I'd actually be able to feel something, some sort of emotion to make me realize that I was cared about. At this point I wasn't sure if even my own pups cared. LilyPad has always disliked me since MoonLight's death, but what about the others? They always forgave me but would they this time? What about Moon?! Even she seemed disappointed that I had made such a stupid mistake...what if she was mad? She had always been on my side...

After Branch calmed down we started heading towards the cave and the reaction I got wasn't what I'd expected. They seemed to ignore me and start questioning Branch, but that was fine with me. I didn't want all the attention. I walked away slowly when I heard a low whimper behind me. I took a deep breath and put on my bravest face before I turned around. I saw Cloud standing behind me; he and Tree were best friends. How would I tell him that he was now dead, how would I tell Paw, how would I tell anyone?! I now saw that everyone had their eyes on me. Violet and LilyPad were staring at my blood soaked paws. "W-Where is Tree?" I heard the quiet whimper come from DreamHeart's direction. But right now the only thing I saw was the hatred in LilyPad's eyes. "YOU KILLED HIM!! THATS WHY YOU WON'T ANSWER! THAT'S HIS BLOOD ON YOUR PAWS!" she started barking. I saw everyone's eyes widen with fear and I knew I had to act fast. "I didn't kill him! It's true his blood is on my paws but I found his body in the woods with Branch! Branch and him had become best friends," I hid is secret mating with Tree, "I found Branch crying beside him, he has I gash from his chin to his lower gut. He was killed by a strange unknown wolf. His blood his on my paws so that I could try and save him! I wouldn't kill my dear son! He was so precious to me... ," I trailed off before I started crying. I couldn't take it....I couldn't take my pain any longer.

I curled up in the snow to sleep while everyone else slept inside the cave. LilyPad insisted that she would guard me to make sure I didn't hurt anyone else. I rolled my eyes at her idea. She was staring at me as though she would die if she looked away for one second. I felt my eyes tearing up at the idea of my pup hating me; what if the other hated me too?! I blinked away the tears because she was the last person I wanted to see me cry. I started digging up some snow so I could make a little hollow for me to sleep in. Of course LilyPad had to put in her thoughts, "What're you doing?! Stop that! You're probably making a hole to bury us in!" I sighed. "I'm making a hollow so I'm not completely laying in snow, my fur may be thick but it gets soaked and then I'll get sick and they'll probably force you to take care of me," I growled at her sarcastically. She growled and the she ran up to me and shoved me. I turned towards her, "What are you doing?! You're worried about me hurting someone?! You just shoved me because I was making a hollow to sleep in!" Her eyes glowed with rage and I was slightly amused, she was already bigger than me but I had power. I was now alpha and she was still an apprentice. I chuckled, "What're you going to do? Kill me? But wouldn't that make you the evil one? Not me, but you."

She growled and lunged on top of me, "I'm not going to kill you I'm going to avenge my father and make sure you're sent to the place of no stars after death, for that's where you belong!" I growled, "Guess I'll see him there!" She placed her claw on the artery of my neck. I chuckled, "Do it, I gladly accept death. I have nothing to live for anymore. It'd be great to see my old friends in SkyPack," her eyes grew wide when she heard my response. She stepped back and kept staring at me in shock. I stood up let out a low growl and ran towards the woods I now knew so well. I found a group of very sharp rocks and decided to cut my pads with them to relieve some of my pain; I have finally found a way to calm myself down.