The Street Fighter

Chapter 30

He sat up, zipping the metal down in one motion and tugged his jeans off. I did the same to mine, tossing them aside.

Our lips found each other once again and my hand drifted dangerously low, hooking onto the waistline of his boxers.

"Sky, not happening." He mumbled into the kiss.

"Why not? Our clothes are already off."

His tongue swiped the base of my throat, humming in agreement.

Taking that as my answer, I dug around in the bedside draw beside us, latching onto the square packet and holding it between us.

My hands tried to tear the wrapper but I could hardly focus on it, everything was blurry. That and the fact that I didn't feel like I was on Shaun's bed anymore nor in his room.

This room had grey walls, the paint peeling at the corners from neglect.

A hand on mine caused my head to snap up and I looked at Shaun with glazed eyes.

He shook his head at me. "No, Sky. You're drunk, you can't even open the condom. It's not happening."

My mind raced back to when I was with Zach.

It wasn't fair.

"Shaun, no. Please." I pleaded.

I needed this.

"Blue, I love you. I'm not-"

I cut him off with a short kiss. "Shaun, it's okay. Just remember to keep going, no matter what."

"Sky, Blue-"

"Please, Shaun. I just- I need this. I need you."

Tears welled up in my eyes and he gave a sigh, dropping down to kiss me.

It was slow, no one tried to open the others mouth, it was just Shaun pouring out his emotions in an innocent kiss.

Breaking apart, he gazed into my eyes, confirming what I wanted.

"I love you, Blue."

I whispered the words back, meaning every one of them. "And I love you Shaun."

His fingers expertly tore the packet, revealing the latex rubber inside.

After a few grunts, his hand slowly slipped under the material of my underwear, holding my stare.

I blinked and what loomed over me was no longer Shaun.

His grey eyes morphed into a pure black- a cold, hard exterior in their place.

The hand that advanced further south left a burning in its trail, my mind screaming at me to kick him off.

But that would only make things worse. Only cause him to agonise me longer.

His eyes vanished from in front of me as his lips brushed my neck and I was thankful. At least I hadn't needed to see his feral eyes any longer.

A second later his tip nudged my entrance and I awaited what was about to happen, distant whispers in the background that I couldn't seem to make out.

I didn't want to make out.

Who knew what he wanted to tell me?

What sick lies he was feeding me. Or even the truth. About me.

I didn't want to hear any more of it.

I blocked it out, my body trembling slightly with fear.

"Please," I whimpered.

And moments later, he pulled out from inside me.

It was over.

I relaxed my body, the shaking slowly stopping with each second that passed and I looked up at the hand that caressed my face.

Shaun.

Oh, thank God.

Despite willing the thoughts of the man I despised away, he had still managed to get into my head, making me believe he was here.

Staring into the eyes of Shaun, I pecked his cheek.

The worry in his eyes was present and he wobbly rose his finger to his mouth, "You missed."

A grin immediately spread throughout my face and he let out a small sigh of relief. Lifting my head up, I planted a kiss on his lips and brought him down to my side.

"Thank you, Shaun."

"I- want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, not really.

I pulled him closer towards me, wanting –trying- to convince him that it was okay.

He never was convinced. But then again, neither was I.

It wasn't normal to think of the person you hated when with someone you loved.

I wasn't okay.

"Hey Shaun?" I only had to whisper with our close proximities. One more inch and we'd be touching again.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like-"

"Hey, hey. It's not like that. I just don't like seeing you that way, I don't like knowing that I'm the one hurting you."

"But you're not hurting me, you know that. You're helping me."

"I know but-"

My thumb stroked his cheek, soothing him. "Trust me, Shaun. I wanted it."

"I'm sorry." If the sincerity in his voice wasn't obvious enough, the tear escaping his glassy eyes definitely was.

I caught the tear, rubbing it away.

"I know."

"I love you Blue, more than you could ever know."

I sent a small smile his way, "I love you Shaun."

We lay there for a while, drifting off. The last thing I felt was the duvet being lifted over us, enveloping our bodies in warmth.

But all I could think about was how my distraction couldn't have even been considered a distraction.

He was always there.

And because of him I couldn't even sleep with the person I liked.

Shaun, I loved him. Truly and honestly.

But Zach, I liked.

And I wouldn't be surprised if one of the promises I had once made was awaiting to be broken.

Maybe I would fall in love.

Just maybe.

If I hadn't already.