Mate (Bts Jk X hunter Reader)

20.

It was painfully quiet in the apartment, the lack of separate rooms making it even more obvious that Jungkook was ignoring you. You couldn't even attempt to count the amount of the times you'd tried to apologize, to explain, only to be met with distant comments about how you were right to do it, how he didn't judge you for it. He kept saying he wasn't mad at you but a part of you wished he was because the only other reason he would act so coldly was that he was hurt. You wished it was something as simple as anger, anger fades, pain can scar.

He had been sleeping on the couch for the past two weeks, the both of you waiting until your lease was up before you could go back to Busan, where he promised he'd "leave you alone." You weren't sure if that was his way of breaking up with you if the two of you were even still together at all. He still said those three words back to you when you said them to him, he still let you hug him but he never returned the affection. 

He didn't kiss you, he didn't hold you, even on the rainy days. It had rained a week into the cold shoulder he'd been giving you and you had gotten your hopes up, hoping you would be able to come home to see him there, to convince him to let you hold him, to comfort him when you knew he needed it the most. But you'd walked into an empty apartment, a note on the fridge saying he'd gone out to the store, and to not wait up.

It was hard to find time to explain everything to him when your work schedules got in the way, with him staying over his hours when he already worked so much of the day. You were convinced he was doing it on purpose because he always made sure he came in when you were either just about to fall asleep or already had done so and he always made sure he was still asleep when you were getting ready to leave. It was frustrating to say the least, having him so close but so far, constantly slipping out of your fingers just as you were grabbing on.

You almost didn't hear his voice, caught in another night of restless sleep but you'd heard the whimper. Your move out day was the next day, meaning, according to Jungkook, it would be the last day of you two being together. The thought made another round of tears well up in your eyes but you'd cried enough for a year and now your mind was more concerned with what was wrong with him.

 You eyed the moon, noting that although it was close to being full, it wasn't quite there yet, you still had a few days before his shift would hit, he'd be back in Busan by then, back with his pack. You rubbed at your eyes as you pushed yourself onto your feet, stumbling in the direction of the couch in a sleepy daze.

He was already sat up, ignoring your approaching figure as he held his head in his hands, his fingers dug into his hair. He felt your head on his shoulder, your arms wrapping around him but he stayed still, not flinching away from your touch but definitely not leaning into it.

"Were you really going to use that thing on me?" he finally asked, his voice quiet, as if he didn't really want to ask it, didn't want to know. "Were you really that afraid of me? This entire time?"

Your second anniversary was coming up, making it even more painful for him. His longest relationship, his only serious one that actually went beyond the first date, crumpling right in front of him. He didn't have experience with this part, with heartbreak. He wasn't sure how to act around you anymore if he should pretend to hate you if he should pretend he couldn't stand you. Would that make it easier for both of you, to end it with anger?