Pain Will Always Come Back to Haunt You

I Did it For Something Bigger Than Myself

"You're fantastic. That doesn't mean-"

"No. I've always put everyone before myself! I never ask for anything! Ever! I got through six months of being Spider-Man in a stupid homemade suit saving people! And then I kept doing it after he treated me like crap! I don't need him around for me to be a good hero! I already am one!" Peter stops to catch his breath and fiercely wipes his eyes. May keeps her gaze locked on him as if he's too fragile to touch. She looks at him with such pure concern   that all of Peter's anger dissipates. Instead, his lip quivers and his throat aches from holding back tears. "How come I'm not good enough for him?" His voice cracks. May pulls him back into a hug without hesitation and he melts into it.

"It's going to be okay, I promise. You're more than good enough. You're incredible and I love you so so so so   much. You can't even fathom how much I love you." She kisses the top of his head and just cradles him as he cries. Everything Peter does feels pathetic, but having May be there for him makes it all bearable.

"I love you too," Peter reciprocates with all of his heart and soul. May pulls back and wipes his tears away with her thumbs.

"What do you say we order in tonight? Pizza? Larb?" Peter chuckles lightly, causing her to smile. "Then we can get a bunch of blankets to cuddle on the couch and watch reruns of Friends."   Peter nods gratefully, but then remembers something.

"You have a late night at the hospital," he reminds her with a tinge of disappointment in his voice.

"I'll have someone cover my shift, it's not a problem. You're more important," May reassures. Peter smiles, but ultimately shakes his head.

"We're gonna get behind on rent if you miss a shift. I'll be fine, promise. Besides, you gotta go be a superhero in the ER." Guilt encompasses him, but he tries to look as confident as he can. He doesn't want her to miss work just because of him.

"I'm so proud of you, you know that, right?" May brushes one of his unruly curls from his forehead.

"I know. I'm proud of you too." She kisses him on the forehead and guides him out of his room.

"There's leftovers in the fridge and dessert in the freezer. Promise   me you'll eat your dinner first, understand? Are you sure you don't want me to order something before I leave?" Her expression is slightly pained, which probably means Peter is not the only one feeling guilty.

"May, I'm sixteen! I can make myself dinner." She gives him a skeptical look accompanied by a smirk.

"Alright, genius. And don't stay up too late. Love you!" Peter playfully rolls his eyes.

"Love you too," he calls as she shuts the door behind her and locks it. Peter stands there for a few moments, his muscles not exactly wanting to move. His entire body is exhausted from the anxiety and unbridled emotions that poured out of him. Now he just feels kind of...empty. He snaps himself out of the trance. The only thing worse than sensory overload is apathy, and he just got done with the former so there's no way he's going to deal with the latter.

He walks over to open the fridge, then just stares into it. Usually, he just waits until something appetizing jumps out at him, but he's honestly not really in the mood for anything. He glances to the freezer...and opens it to pull out a tub of cookie dough. What May doesn't know won't hurt her, or me.   He plops on the couch and digs his spoon into the cookie dough. Should I unmute my friends? I should probably unmute my friends. If anything, just to convince them that I'm not dead. Ned tends to overreact.   He pulls out his phone and takes it off "do not disturb." His phone is instantly overwhelmed by text after text after text from Ned and MJ, more so Ned, and a few missed calls from both. Most of the texts are in their group chat, which Peter quickly catches up with.